annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Five Years I just watched the BBC documentary 'The Last Five Years' about the last five years of Bowie's life, which ended five years ago today and I find myself very upset and missing so many people, especially Mel, a friend I made on Diaryland who also died on this day, only two years ago, of the fucking bastard MS. She was the first internet friend I exchanged gifts with and letters, photos - we made it into the real world although we never met in Real Life. When she died I posted a beach photo and wrote this - I got it wrong though, we were friends for over fifteen years: I’m posting this picture tonight to honour my friend Mel who died today. We never met in Real Life but we were friends for over ten years, supporting each other, sending gifts and music, love and stories across the internet, across cultures, across the world. I had a very vivid dream once, some years ago, when Real Life was being hard, a dream in which Mel and I danced, arm in arm, like a waltz or something, both with beautiful long hair streaming out behind us, long skirts swirling round our legs. We held each other, leaned into the dance, swept away in the music, elegant as fuck, on and on, without tiring, at peace with it all. May you be at peace now, dear heart. I love you and #fuckms ❤️❤️❤️ I also remember David Bowie singing in my head, these lines, "You're not alone.... I'll take your hand... you're wonderful...I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain. You're not alone" as I walked up and down the beach in the cold January of 2016, day after day, demented with grief at the knowledge that Sam would die soon, that her life as a conscious person was almost over. That's where I am now. But I will make myself write down Three Good Things that happened today: 11:31 p.m. - 10.01.21 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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