annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Day 252

I'm trying to take the pressure off which means not having to write everyday, but I hate it when I don't, so which of those is the self care option?

Today my key worker called and we had an hour on the phone. She said to be kind to myself, let myself off the self-imposed obligations, maybe go and watch the starlings at sunset. I parked by the west pier and could just see them swooping and diving around the other pier, too far away to enjoy. By the time I got to that pier they'd vanished. Just as well, as I'm not doing great at taking pleasure from things and I wouldn't really want to be unimpressed with the magical starling display.

In the writing group we now have a village and we've all created characters who live there, to give us a strand of continuity. My character is Zoe, a young single mother of twins, a widow, a student of architecture. One of the others (a bloke), wrote about her and had her referring to herself as a lady. Jeez, I don't know anyone who uses that term - it's half of the 'ladies and gentlemen' duo and no one refers to a bloke as a gentleman. "Oh, but it's much nicer than the word woman." No it isn't. I'm a woman not a fucking lady. Then one of the women involved Zoe in her piece and had her looking for work, any work, cleaning or washing up in the pub - but she's a fucking student of architecture, with a bit of money to support her, can you not imagine a woman with a professional job? No. Not really.

Three good things:
1. The next Art Enthusiasts in London painting is Klimt's The Kiss, which I hope to do tomorrow and feel really excited about. It involves gold paint, fake gold leaf and potato printing.
2. That's all I can think of. No wait - I have a comfortable warm home, all paid for, no rent, no mortgage. That's a good thing, a true blessing in my old age.
3. I spoke with my darling son this morning and we arranged where we will meet on Friday, his birthday - a car park on the forest, half way between his place and here, for a legal walk, no matter what the weather does. I might ask niecey-poo to make him a cake. I still have two healthy, delightful, wonderful, adult children. This is a blessing.

Take care.

12:42 a.m. - 22.11.20

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