annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Day 228

I feel as if I'm turning into someone else, all this sleeping. Ten hours a night, night after night and still yawning again now. I'm OK during the day, it's not total fatigue, but it is something. So quick, quick, and off to bed I go.

The kitchen has been painted bright yellow. Like really bright, on the warm side rather than cool, heading towards orange rather than lime green, but strong. Man. It was my idea on this grey day - nothing seemed better than sunshine but now I'm not sure and it's done. It's a reaction to the current fashion for neutrals which I find dreary as hell. Ah well. I felt doubtful about the strong teal colour I painted my art room but I'm used to it now. And they are the only two rooms in the house that aren't white - oh my bedroom is pale green, but so pale it's almost white.

I'm giving one of the cats, Lily, to my friend J the writer (as opposed to J the musician or J my friend from uni who lives up north or my friend J whose husband has MS or indeed any of the other J's in my life). She's wanted a cat for a while and did fall in love with Lily when she was last here, but in the end decided that at 7 she's a bit old. She got a rescue cat that was just one year old but it vanished and hasn't been seen for three weeks, so now Lily is a good prospect and it's a done deal. I don't have it in me to be nice enough to these cats. We got them too soon after Sammie died, because we had mice and they needed a home, but I've never cared about them at all. Lily in particular is very needy and will get loads of love and cuddles in her new home - she got more from J on her last visit than she's had from me in a whole year. I don't think her brother will miss her - they show no signs of being companionable. I might be able to be kind to him if there's just him and Shirley. We haven't seen a mouse since they moved in, as I suspected would happen. I like mice but not in my food cupboard. I hated killing them and thought if they could smell cats about the place they'd fuck off and live elsewhere and they did. That's another J, J I got the cats from - I'll have to tell her.

And Tracey Emin has cancer, rapid non-curable cancer. Awful.

I've not done well at breaking up with my phone. On it all the bloody time again, trying to keep my mind busy, away from people dying and being so ill, and all the plastic everywhere. All the cafes are using disposable cups even for non-takeaway. I bought a new light for the kitchen and it comes with built in LED bulbs that aren't replaceable so you have to throw the whole thing away if they go - they'll last forever said the bloke. Like fuck they will. But I'm too weary to fight.

Three good things today:
1. Getting a walk on the seafront with Shirley between the heavy showers.
2. Getting a lovely message and an invitation for a coffee from an ex-student.
3. Being efficient for once, doing all the errands on my list and having a peaceful feeling about it at the end of the day.

10:29 p.m. - 28.10.20


previous - next

latest entry

about me





random entry

Day 233 - 02.11.20
Day 232 - 01.11.20
Day 231 - 31.10.20
Day 230 - 30.10.20
Day 229 - 29.10.20

other diaries:


Site Meter