annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Day 219

I will not be one of those people complaining about the stress of builders doing work on the house, pissing off people whose house is falling to pieces for lack of money to pay builders to come and be a nuisance. OK? You know me, my word is my bond etc.

But I can moan about sciatica which is just fucking shite, hurts and hurts then hurts some more. But writing that down prompted me to look up what I can do to minimise it and their are a bunch of exercises that I do in yin yoga so I will try and do them every day instead of just twice a week.

I don't know what else to write, but I shall crack on for a bit and see if anything emerges. Had good chats with both kids today. We all seem to be managing ourselves OK-ish - better not enthuse too much, I wouldn't want to jinx it.

I feel like we're waiting for something, with the virus. I mean, I know various people who are literally waiting for the results of covid tests - one of them has been told that her 7 yr old daughter's results have been lost, and there she is, the wee thing, burning hot and coughing like a mad thing and the mum off work again to look after her, of course, but you know... Friends in the US, poorly, waiting for results, unable to rest, scared of likely costs. I think I'm half expecting a lockdown again - a circuit breaker as they're calling it, like has been announced for Wales. Two weeks lockdown and no one should be passing it on. Over half term while the schools are closed, plus one more week. The trouble is, too many people won't do it. There's a substantial minority mouthing off that it's a hoax, that we're all fools, not wearing masks, refusing to change their behaviour. I don't think it's a hoax if only because of the money - this govt are all about profits and the virus is hitting people in their pockets, some of them big Tory donors.

Though it does seem not to be as 'strong' as the last wave, but that's only because there so far hasn't been the same proportion of people dying - last time it peaked at about 5,000 new cases per day and around 1000 deaths per day, whereas now it's more like 20,000 new cases and 150 deaths - these are rough figures, but the proportions are clearly very different and you'd think better, but we don't know how badly those 20,000 people have been affected by it. We aren't getting the horror stories of life on the wards this time - at least I don't think so - I only scroll through the headlines in The Guardian so I'm not very well informed. Which won't stop me holding forth, obviously.

Three good things today:
1. A meeting in an open air cafe with my writing mentor, she who has taken me under her wing, from when she was writer-in-residence at the recovery centre once long ago. We've eased into being pals and today we sat in the chilly afternoon air, in the city park loud with kids and dogs and tennis fuckers and football fuckers and all that. We chatted and drank coffee and walked Shirley round the paths, up and down the gentle slopes, among the yellow, fallen leaves and I like her very much and it was good.
2. Acupuncture, always good. J the stained-glass-creating receptionist is back, hooray, I love her. I listened to Frank Skinner's poetry podcast while I was there and he talked about Wordsworth's Lucy poems, which I didn't know. This one (the first line is also the title):

She dwelt among the untrodden ways
Beside the springs of Dove,
A Maid whom there were none to praise
And very few to love.

A violet by a mossy stone
Half-hidden from the Eye!
—Fair, as a star when only one
Is shining in the sky.

She lived unknown, and few could know
When Lucy ceased to be;
But she is in her Grave, and, oh,
The difference to me!

That last line killed me. But it's good. I like being killed in that way, about my girl. Oh. The difference to me, Indeed.

3. I am grateful for the feeling I get when I look at my tidy little art room, all hoovered and neat. I need to get the desk swapped and up there by 11 tomorrow so I can relax into the Tuesday art group which starts then. Though we're doing The Scream which I did in an online session so not fussed to do that again.

and 4 - I am grateful that Andrew has fixed it so that when you accidentally press the wrong key and change page before you have posted, you can go back and find your words still there, not all vanished, like used to happen too often. Thank you Andrew x

11:18 p.m. - 19.10.20


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