annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Day 191

Still here, still going, still moaning. I'm all stirred up by the virus news again - they're saying we could be having 50,000 new cases per day by mid-October, yet the measures they're talking about seem inconsequential - like pubs closing at 10pm - as if people won't just go earlier and be pissed earlier. My pal R's boy was negative so he can go back to school and R can come and finish the decorating. I feel OK about him as he's been in and out already anyway and I know he has a very small circle of contacts ... apart from his kids ... but they tested negative ... but they were only at school for a couple of days before being tested ... man it's too hard for me. And should we get the carpet guy to come or put him off till the spring? That's when it's going to be safe isn't it? Or at least definitely not before, and maybe not then. I don't know if it's madness to have people do work in my house or madness to think I need to cancel. I don't fucking know.

I'm working as hard as I can to keep steady, trying to chill out about all this and go with the flow, but failing mainly. I seem to have stopped doing meditation - don't know why I said seemed - I have stopped. I block out as much as I can all day every day which isn't great, is it? I'm just trying to get through this until I can drive again and take myself out of this fucking house, on my own, walking in the hills or on the beach ON MY OWN.

Like I said, still here, still moaning.

When I post a picture, anything I write underneath it goes blue, like it's a link, so I'll write it all here and leave the picture down there.

I did finish the Tamara Lempicka painting. I can see now that it needs tweaking - I was too close to it and too tired to see straight but I feel really proud of this and grateful that I found the "Art Enthusiasts London" thing, with all their workshops and the wonderful teacher. This workshop was two hours and cost seven quid. And she managed to get me painting something almost in that 1920s art deco style which I really didn't think I could do. I'm going to try oils, I think - that's how they manage to have distinct blocks of colour without hard edges. Oils are slow drying so you can blend them on the page... maybe.

And I have been practising my keyboard again - it's come back to me, but I'm only really good on the right hand notes from middle C to the next C up - after that I'm lost again in terms of the notes on the page and where they are on the keyboard. Also, I still go blank when I try to add notes with my left hand. I can play Morning Has Broken pretty well with my right hand now, but as soon as I try to add a note simultaneously with the other hand, I forget what I know and can't keep any speed up at all.

But bed now. Three good things: lying on a bench in the meadow in the sunshine; Only Connect back on telly; made it through another day - yay, go me. xxx

When A

11:58 p.m. - 21.09.20


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