annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Day 112

Just now, right now. 11.30 pm. I turn off Ru Paul's Allstars, move to the desk and open wordpress. I write Day 112 in the box, then think I can hear the dog barking outside - isn't the back door shut? - so go to have a look. The back door is open, the dog is at the end of the garden going totally mental - probably at a fox just over the hedge. I call her but she doesn't respond in the slightest. I step out crossly, slip on something, probably a slug, and go crashing down sideways, landing hard on a plant pot, which shatters. I wail, but no one hears me - it's gone ten o'clock, all (self) righteous people are fast asleep. Wah wah wah. It hurts.

There was a lot of blood. Three big cuts across the bottom of my leg, plenty of bruising to follow. I googled "first aid, clean wound, nhs" - I always put nhs - they're not trying to sell you anything and would like it best if you could manage yourself without taking up any of their time, so the advice is good, though if you can't, come on down. I ran the shower on it for a while,  in case there was anything in it - I can't see, my eyes are fucked - then soaked a tea towel in salty water and pressed that against it. I feel most indignant that it's gone midnight and I have no one to complain to and get sympathy from in person. 

Now my friend Kate has been sympathetic on Facebook so I can pretend to behave like a grown up. I've gone straight to anxiety mode as last time I fell and scraped my leg, it got infected as I didn't clean it properly and I can't face another round of that. Still, I can take it to the pharmacy in the morning.

Apart from that, today started off badly, then got better. I do struggle in the mornings, most mornings. These days are hard, for all of us. But yoga with Leo, and I was good - at the beginning as she lets each of us into the zoom meeting she asks how we are and I so nearly said I was fine, but caught myself and said I was struggling, tired, aching and miserable. Others said similar and we had the most beautiful, gentle class, so nurturing and loving. 

Later I fetched Daughter and we went to where the dead van is still parked by the side of the road to take the last bits and pieces out of it and leave the key for the guys who're picking it up tomorrow. Then we went and sat on the beach in the wind and she didn't go in the sea because it was so rough the very thought of it scared me. We were there for ages though, talking about all kinds of stuff, laughing, crying, really good. I am blessed, I really am. We talked about that, how lucky we are to live such rich lives. We are, and we know it, don't take it for granted, Or try not to. 

So today I am grateful for: my beloved daughter; and son; and grandson; Kate being kind just now; there's an online class in a couple of weeks to do a paint-along of Turner's Fighting Temeraire. Oh yes. 

Night night. Keep your distance, wash your hands, wear a mask. We need to get through this.  xxx

1:09 a.m. - 02.07.20


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