annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Day 108

I just bought a bikini online, without getting off my fat arse to find the tape measure and see what size I actually am. I went for size 20 for the bottoms and 40d for the top, though I think I'm much bigger than 40. Last time I measured myself my waist was bigger than either my bust or my hips, which is not a great look. Those of you inwardly flinching at the thought of a fat 66 year old in a bikini need not panic - I won't be posting photos, probably. Not until I have a brown belly at least. I just thought fuck it, my belly hasn't seen daylight for years and I'm not bothered about being fat or old - there are shitloads of fat old blokes in shorts on the beach.

Today I was meant to be resting again, which I did this morning, but then I got twitchy and it was windy as fuck so I went to the sea glass beach which I haven't been to for ages and it was marvelous, really windy and wild and almost empty. I've been sick to death of the endless wind but today I loved it, just what I needed.

Looking east:


and west:


and straight out to sea:



There are two public debates going on at the moment which I feel totally confused about as whenever I read something by anyone who feels strongly about it I agree with them but they can't all be right.

The first is the Labour Party and anti-semitism, which has raised its head again. In case you missed it Maxine Peake (fab actress, will be a Dame in the end) did an interview in which she said that Many US police are trained by Israeli security forces and that's where they learn the knee on the throat manoeuvre. She may have spoken up in favour of Palestinian rights. So a Labour MP, in the shadow cabinet, retweets a link to the article and says 'top woman' or something similar and for that she loses her job on grounds of anti-semitism. The response to this is divided between 'Thank God Starmer is taking a hard line to stamp out the disgusting anti-semitism that has existed for too long in the Labour party' and 'criticism of Israel is not anit-semitism'  both being put forward by some Jewish people. As a person who is not Jewish but is a Labour party member and has long taken an interest (since reading Bernice Reubens Brothers in 1983), I have never spotted an instance of anti-semitism in Labour, unless you count criticism of Israel as intrinsically anti-semitic, which I don't think you can, surely? I've been confused about this for years but never brought it up here because of my friendship with fellow blogger Mel, a US Jew living in Israel - I just was on her side no matter what, and we stayed away from politics. People said it wasn't true about the police being trained, but turns out it is - not all of them, but many states, but that's not the point - the point is I always seem to believe whoever it is I'm reading about this and surely I should have come down on one side or the other by now. I mean, I mostly do, in that I think you must be able to criticise a country's government without that being immediately taken as being against not only all its population but also against  similar people all over the world. Prejudice is like that, sweeping and unspecific, but this is very specific - against the Israeli govt for its behaviour towards Palestinians over many years.

Anyway, suddenly it's 1.20 and I haven't even started on JK Rowling and transphobia.

The trouble I have with all this is that I am neither trans nor Jewish so how can I be sure about any of it. I've had men tell me things aren't sexist when they fucking are, so I don't know, but I'm going to bed now, far too late again.



1:24 a.m. - 28.06.20


previous - next

latest entry

about me





random entry

Day 113 - 03.07.20
Day 112 - 02.07.20
Day 111 - 01.07.20
Day 110 - 29.06.20
Day 109 - 29.06.20

other diaries:


Site Meter