annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Day 80

Quick list

1. Day 80? FFS We're in a strange place - half the country seems to believe it's all over, no need for any distancing - loads of friends on Facebook have posted photos of themselves out and about, right up close with family and friends but meanwhile doctors are posting urgent appeals for us to carry on keeping distance between us, that it's not safe yet. I feel scared again.


2. I made apricot jam this morning and it's so easy and so delicious - why have I only ever made marmalade which is a load of hassle. You have to shred the thick orange skins, then boil them till soft, which takes a couple of hours. This jam took fifteen minutes - I did it before I even got dressed and it's so tasty. I've had enough of eating bread though - ooh, might make some scones tomorrow... 


3. I did an online workshop on Matisse, drawing with scissors, that was fucking great. They showed a clip of Matisse doing a cut out - he held the paper and the scissors right up in front of his face and kept the scissors pointing up all the time, moved the paper to make the shapes. He was into making art about circus performers, so a photo of a woman on a trapeze would come up on the screen and we'd have two minutes to make a cut out - that's the way to do it - fast - no time to fret and think - let your fingers do the thinking. 


4. 


5. I did a yoga session that I put together myself. All the things that previously stopped me have changed. I made a list of yin asanas that I like, picked six of them and used the timer on my phone. Yin poses are held for three to five minutes, and now I have a phone with a timer, I'm all set. I didn't like it before when I had to decide what to do and would always be thinking, have I done it for long enough, what shall I do next, getting all agitated, but this was dead cool apart from shavasana - you don't want an alarm going off to mark the end of that, even if it is a chilled bell sound - it's still insistent, it's an alarm.


6. I had a big lurch in the middle of the day, when I felt a sudden shock of fear and grief for all we have lost, for not knowing when we will ever be safe, for not knowing who is still to die of this virus. But I took my book out into the garden, sat in the shade and watched the birds and the insects and the flowers and moved on. I tweeted the author to tell her how much I fucking love her character and she replied.


7. I started reading the book about codependency. Well. Fuck that. Guilty as charged. Ouch.

1:18 a.m. - 31.05.20

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next