annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Day 68

More busy busy. The big meditation was lovely though I did fall asleep again but woke up fully chilled and all good.

Then my aunt's funeral via the fucking tablet. I got in a big dither about it beforehand, not knowing which of my (messy, dirty), rooms was the one to be watching a funeral from, and the weirdness of it being suddenly there, instead of spending the hours before, getting ready, talking about the person, driving there, meeting the others, then the service. It seemed potentially very disrespectful, dismissive, but in the end I did spend most of the day with my aunt, in my head, and being able to watch the funeral live was very immersive and touching. One of my cousins spoke about his mum and the other had written a piece for the guy to read out - can't remember what they're called, those people who do the funeral for you. She was a nice woman who lived a good, adventurous life for 86 years and I'm glad I was able to be there in some way.

Just after, I had a text from the official Covid symptom study, which I've been reporting to on a daily basis (when I remember) - they're after reports from everyone, not just those who are already ill - and as I'm over 65 and had reported fatigue a few times they invited me to go and get tested. So I did. It was all a bit like getting to Glasto before it's open, going in blue gate and being checked off different lists, being waved on to another bloke with another set of criteria, but without the smell of weed, the pounding of a bass in the distance and the excitement of seeing your pals. There were big signs saying all car windows must be kept shut, and no photography, and everyone was fully masked and gloved. After being cleared I drove to a gate where I had to wind my window down just an inch and a pack was posted in, then I had to drive to a big parking space, clean my hands, blow my nose and cough into a tissue, throw it away, read through the instructions and take a swab of my tonsils, then up my nose, before packing it all up and driving to another place to have it all checked through the glass, then post it back out of the window into a bin and get the fuck out of there. I did take a photo, of course I did, but not of outside - the notices said if you took photos you wouldn't get tested, so I pretended to be looking for my tonsils:


It was quite scary, especially after being around places where everyone is carrying on as normal. I kind of hope it comes back positive - if I can have the virus and only have fatigue as a symptom, that's OK with me, but it seems unlikely.

I had a keyboard lesson as well, struggling with introducing the left hand at the same time as the right. Like, really struggling. Teacher says I must slow right down, focus on doing it right, no matter how slowly, over and over till I get there, which I will, but maybe not tomorrow. The first two lines of Morning Has Broken. On the plus side, don't know if I mentioned it before, but she sent me the music to Scarborough Fair - just the tune a voice would sing - and I was able to play it at once - I can read music! I can play the notes! So proud and happy!

Here's a pic of my garden from the black and white photo challenge I'm doing - love how it looks like 1950s gardening manuals:


and here's me in my mask, walking in the wind by the river:



I am grateful for: the NHS, always and forever; my health; my mask; being able to take photos on my phone; getting tested


Night night xxxx

12:15 a.m. - 19.05.20


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