annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


March 26th Day 4

I'm amazed at how much I want to report on. You'd think there'd be nothing much to say (not that that's ever stopped me) but there's loads.

Most recently, at 8.00 pm we were invited to step outside out houses and cheer for the NHS and fucking hell, it happened, everywhere, every fucking where:

Man, this virus is going to change the world. I went out and clapped and even here, in this outpost of ignorance and brutishness, there were people standing on their doorsteps blowing whistles, clapping and cheering. Fucking awesome. We almost lost it, our NHS, but this virus has made it clear how essential it is, how loved and appreciated.

This evening Bloke and I played the Virtual Pub Quiz, along with 150,000 others. The guy usually does a normal pub quiz - he told his regular people that he'd do an online one tonight and it grew and grew. We kept losing the connection so didn't hear all the questions, just most of them, and missed a few answers too, but the important thing was I got 23 out of a theoretical 50 and Bloke got 16 (hehehe), and it was a good distraction. He's going to do another one next week, but look:

The National Theatre is going to LiveStream productions from its archives on Thursday nights, starting nest week with One Man, Two Guvnors. So I'm watching that - I kept missing it when it was on - fantastic.

And starting tomorrow will be this:

A live literary festival that you don't need to book, just open the page when the event you fancy is on. There's a writing workshop at 10 that I hope to do and in the evening a talk about writing thrillers by a woman who did workshops in prisons. Aw man, we are fucking brilliant, aren't we? Is there anything wonderful happening in your neck of the woods?

So altogether I feel better now than I did earlier. I was having another big wobble - gut clenched with fear, lump in throat, all that, total dread, but it passed after a few hours, thank fuck.

I mean, this is all just mental, beyond our capacity to get our heads round - the whole world closed down and any of us could get sick and die or lose someone we love and it's too much, too much to cope with. Yet here we are, coping, on and off. And although it's bringing out the worst in the usual suspects (Branson, that Wetherspoons bloke, etc) it's also bringing out so much love and creativity, generosity and optimism ... sigh.

Before all that I did my online yoga in my newly tidied back room - Katherine might have been there (*waves*) but I can't master the fucking Zoom app enough to be able to tell. I loved it though, felt much better after, as always. Interestingly, I can do the balance again. I always used to be able to do it, but for all the time I've been going to the Buddhist Centre (7 years), I've not been able to. I asked the teacher about it and he wondered if I was carrying a big weight that was knocking me off balance. Well, Sammie was already in the care home... And now she's dead and I can stand on one leg again.

I dreamed about her again the other night. She was well, and gave birth to a baby girl, who I wrapped in a dish cloth and shoved in my pocket, telling Sam I had to go to Tesco's. I can't draw anything from that but I do like spending time with my girl.

I cooked:


First time for ages, meatballs, was going to take loads of pics as I went along and choose the best but I lost the plot halfway through and forgot. I'm still shit under pressure, especially time pressure, even the very mild pressure of cooking something I've been making for 30 years. I used half the mince Bloke bought the other day and half of one of the tubs of passata I found in the freezer. There's enough to have this again tomorrow - we had it with fried potatoes - then we can have spag bol next week. After all my moaning about no pasta in the shops, we had a bag of spaghetti all along.



Apparently we're not meant to drive to a place then take a walk, because of the beauty spots getting jam packed with people when we're meant to be distancing. I think I'm going to keep driving to the beach at low tide until I get personally stopped as I encounter fewer people that way - I park on the coast road, cross the path and come straight down to the big empty beach, not having to get anywhere near anyone, whereas round here the paths are narrow and people don't move aside. And it's boring, walking past ugly houses. It's a mile and a half from here to the beach - I've walked it before but by the time I get there I'm done and have to just come back, which is uphill. I could walk onto the downs if the traffic really has gone - there's a big fast road to cross, impossible in the normal way but now, who knows...

Good night dear friends. I hope you are all both safe and sane. Love to you. xxxx


11:56 p.m. - 26.03.20


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