annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


March 17th

Well, here we are, stuck at home, keeping it together somehow. I've been a bit manic today, keeping too busy in order to stop myself thinking, saying yes to everything, far too much.

I'm concerned for my fellow mental health service users - Jesus I wish there was a better, more acceptable name for us - nutters is too extreme for some of us and nowhere near enough for others - but anyway, some of them are physically frail as well as mentally, and of those, some don't have a garden, most of them, probably, or a dog or any place to get out into and I know I would lose the plot bigtime if I had to be cooped up inside all day, I'm on the brink as it is. I'm not reaching out to any of them though - I'm now a supporter not a rescuer - yay, go me, etc

Bloke got himself to the shop early-ish and came back with some random bits of stuff that we will eat if we have to, but at least he got loads of cat and dog food so they'll be all right. The big fat black cat has finally sussed the cat flap and can get in and out when he likes, which is often. I think he goes out, sits for a bit, very upright, looking around, then comes back in and does the same kind of sitting indoors, then off he goes again. If he keeps it up he won't be so fat, but whatever he does, there's a creature whose life has been improved over the last few days and there's not many of those around right now.

Daughter's temperature went right back up and she has a blinding headache as well which is shit. She was really upset earlier today but last time we communicated she was watching Far From the Madding Crowd and texted: "my very best favourite ever, so very happy."  So, on we go. And yes, we do punctuate our texts, we're not fucking animals, Jeez.  And, I don't know how to say this so it will sound how I feel it, but I am relieved not to have to worry about Sam through this. I would be beside myself at the thought of her getting something that's the equivalent of pneumonia - so painful. I daren't think about how life is going at the care home - the residents are all vulnerable and so are at least a few of the staff - I know of two who won't be able to work as they have chronic health conditions.

Everything I do as part of my routine closed down today. Both the recovery centres, the gym, the yoga studio, the Buddhist Centre. It still feels unreal, probably because I went into the city yesterday (for acupuncture) before I was officially told to self-isolate, so it's not been any amount of time - it all feels a bit theoretical.

B and I did our art session. I found a comment about him when I was reading the old blog - hang on, I'll find it ... From June 2012: "In amongst all this [the usual shite] there are shafts of sunlight. My friend B has had a liver transplant today which went well, meaning his life expectancy can be measured in years again rather than months. He is a diamond geezer, a proper good bloke - the world is better with him in it, that's for sure." I might send that to him... anyway, we both did art at our homes and we both liked it. I did this:


and discovered that the dishwasher salt I got was in granules that are too big really to do the thing that salt does on wet paint, so maybe I'll grind them down a bit...

I also went for a walk with the dog:


out in the countryside because, OK I admit it, I broke the rules and went to the art supplies place that's stuck out in the country, and stocked up with paint and paper. If we go on full on lockdown I need that shit. I shared a big room for about five minutes with about five people, didn't get close to any of them apart from one bloody woman who blocked me into a corner with her child's buggy then coughed ferociously. I had a mini wobbler before realising that her cough was disgustingly phlegmy, which is not how the cough of the virus is described, but it was a wake up call, that I don't want to be near enough to people for them to cough on me.

When I came home I was chatting to Daughter on the phone when my eyes alighted on this, sitting on the bookshelves:0AE464C6-02F4-4EE5-BF22-CE7FF85B3065

which came up in conversation with Dangerspouse just yesterday. I don't know if I'll re-read it, maybe after this is all over. I was pleased to see the price, 3/6 or three shillings and sixpence, which is seventeen and a half pence in today's money or sweet fuck all. Amazon have it for £7.99.

And I did get my keyboard out and repeated lesson 1 - Oh When the Saints Come Marching In.


My plan is to do a bit every day. There are quite a few things I seem to have committed to doing every day: speak to the kids on the phone every day; meditate for 15 minutes; do some art; walk the dog; take and post some photos from outside; edit some old blog; write some new blog; practise my keyboard. There are more - though that's plenty. And sleep more, so yay, I'm done at only just past midnight.

Today I am grateful for: being resourceful and optimistic so getting going with all these activities; lots of stuff coming up online - my main yoga guy, the Buddhist one, is putting some classes online, my exercise woman is doing her keep fit class online, I'm doing an art session tomorrow with a different friend, also called B, with facetime turned on so we can chat; succeeding in not watching any telly about all this beyond a quick check in; having a dog so I can legitimately go out; having you guys - you keep yourselves safe, OK?

12:21 a.m. - 18.03.20


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