annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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March 7th
- Bloke has gone to stay with a mate of his overnight - there's a business element, he hasn't suddenly turned into a person who maintains relationships - and I discover an inconvenient fact that I had forgotten. Left to my own devices I become incapable of movement. I've done fuck all today. I didn't get myself to singing, or to any of the Women's Day events in the city or do anything much at home beyond play endless anagram games on my phone. I felt like shit, unable to do any of the things I imagine I'd do if only I had the place to myself and wasn't inhibited by his depressing presence. Nothing wild, just drawing, making things, having music on. None of these things occurred.
- I did make it to the supermarket as we were down to our last toilet roll and the media has been full of tales of panic buying of this, but there was some there. I felt like a fool for believing any of it. I bought the ingredients for a Lancashire hotpot and made it and it was bland as fuck.
- Made it to the beach with the dog, grey and dull, misty, windy, same old. Had a coffee in a cafe and wondered if that's the problem - I don't drink coffee for breakfast any more and I did feel much perkier after having one.
As I drove home I noticed the sky looked a bit cool, so stopped to take this photo then carried on. Later there were pics all over facebook of the stunning sunset that had miraculously appeared at the end of this grey and dreary day, but I missed it. There will always be more sunsets though.- I spoke to the woman from the retreat. She had a cancellation from a wealthy woman from the US who said to keep the money and offer the place to someone who wouldn't be able to afford it and thought of me. So I'm going. I'll have had my first month of state pension by then and will be able to afford the petrol to get down there.
- I just want my girl back, really.
12:54 a.m. - 08.03.20
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