annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Jan 7th
Oh man, we're fucked, aren't we? Troops are being deployed, we're fucking supporting it - the worst decisions ever made - those poor fucking bastards, as if we haven't done them enough damage this century. I can't believe it's happening. It seems madness to write about anything else, when we're on the brink of another war, potentially a massive war. I don't want any more dying. I don't want other mothers' children dying, I don't want other people's brothers and sisters dying or anyone bloody dying. I wish the troops would all just stand down and say no - there's no purpose to this - we ain't gonna do it.
So I have nothing to say but I'll say it anyway. I'll write it in gratitudes because I'm going to persevere with this motherfucker, even more so through these times. But I'm scared. I'm not going to pretend I'm not. And I have nothing left to fight the fear with. I'm done. Just saying, you know?
- I am grateful for getting through today when there were several moments when I thought I couldn't.
- For my bits of ceramic having been fired again in the kiln with the glazes on and looking quite cool. To me, if no one else.
- That I managed to cobble something together for today's 64 Million Artists task - use a Post It to create something - without letting myself get hung up on it. It didn't hugely inspire me so I did something quick and let it go.
- At Tuesday art we were all there (except D, poor D, *waving* xxx) and bliss it was to fall into the company of my variously broken compadres (or are they commadres?) and sit quietly busying myself painting watery, grey seascapes. It was v noisy at first but then just peaceful - we were all glad to be back.
- Those seascapes got positive comments on Facebook, including from G, my very first art teacher - the school where I taught's art teacher, who let me join in one of her Year 8 classes from the beginning, back in 2004 or somewhen. Proud.
- I'm grateful for the sense to not go to circuits at the gym as I'm still quite poorly - not proper ill, but not well and I'm old and need to give myself a break and I remembered to.
- I am grateful to Ligia for sending me fab pictures of where she goes so I can imagine her there and I do.
- I'm grateful for the sandwich bar that looks shite so I only went in in desperation the first time, but they do good, fat sandwiches and when I went in today it was empty, no queue, served at once by nice cheerful woman. American Tuna on wholemeal, with extra tomato and cucumber, since you asked. I've never seen the designation 'American Tuna' anywhere else - it seems to mean in mayo, with chopped salad veg. Nice but needs more veg. Everything always needs more veg
- Grateful for a misty walk on the beach at low tide - couldn't even see the pier, or hear the traffic on the coast road.
- Grateful that I managed to catch Shirley after she'd had a good run about without too much trouble.
- And that they had a space to give her a bath this very afternoon at the fancy dog place. Turns out she's a white dog - who knew?
- I am grateful for stage two of the everlasting beef stew - tonight with jacket potatoes, broccoli and beans. No faffing about, just bunging a few things in the oven, then others in a pan. Easy peasy.
- I'm grateful for some good telly tonight, though a lot of it was about dodgy bloody blokes. 24 Hours in Police Custody - showing that real life is nothing like crime fiction, but interestingly so.
- The Choir - in a male youth offenders institute - honestly, I almost recognised some of them from bad boys I had taught. GM managed to meet them half way, got them writing raps and songs about where they are now, at this point in their lives. Powerful telly.
- Better Things - oh how I love Better Things. On BBC2 or on BBC iplayer if you haven't seen it - I might start again from the beginning. Women, girls, honest and true, letting truth win out over comedy, over structure. Fab.
Night night. Hope we're all gonna be OK. Love and hugs y'all xxx
12:39 a.m. - 08.01.20
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