annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Day13

Everyone has rushed to say why Labour lost the election so comprehensively, it's enough to make a person even crazier. I feel you, USians, yes, it is like Trump winning - shockingly against all human decency, you'd think. My view is that the reasons are complicated but:

1. The British press and the BBC news dept have been consistently anti-Labour, both in terms of lots of negativity about stupid things, such as whether he watches the Queen's speech on the telly on Christmas Day, which went on for days last week, ffs, and ignoring actual policies, like a living wage, ending zero hours contracts, rent controls etc which would make life so much easier for so many people who will now continue to struggle


2. Labour are divided about leaving the EU - some members think the EU is a capitalist abomination and we need to be out as we'll never get a proper socialist program going from within, others think we're better off staying in, for various reasons. Corbyn wanted to honour that divide (rather than impose his view), with a second referendum after the best deal possible had been thrashed out. This was endlessly portrayed as weakness or indecisiveness rather than a sensible position, though they have lots of referendums in Ireland and Irish politicians were saying that Corbyn's stance was absolutely correct - hand it back to the people and get behind their choice. The first referendum result keeps being referred to as 'the will of the people' despite legal evidence of cheating, lying and interference from Facebook and Russia during the campaign, and there not being any suggestion as to what kind of set up there'd be afterwards. But what was learned from all this is that even if you do break all the laws during a campaign, nothing much happens, so do what you like.


3. Johnson followed Trump's lead of the simple slogan and fuck all else - Get Brexit Done - which swept up all the keen Leavers. There was a lot of sneaky racist shit going on here.


4. Corbyn has been portrayed as some kind of Marxist anti-Christ, despite his policies being the norm in half of Europe, where capitalism still prevails but food banks aren't required. The press banged on about where would the money come from, not emphasising quite how much billionaires are not paying in tax, which would fund it all and give us an ice-cream each on Sundays. But a lot of people hate him.


5. That anti-semitism question, which I've written about before.


6. More stuff that I've forgotten

On a personal level, today has been incredibly hard as well, as I got all muddled up about Sammie, in two ways. First, I'd always been scared of another Tory government as I don't know how far they'll go with their cost cutting and exactly how vulnerable disabled people are. There have been all sorts of terrible things happening, people have already died. They haven't yet taken away funding for people like Sam, who contribute nothing but are expensive to look after. But they might. They let Barb die in the US, and Em. All day I kept panicking about what would happen to her now, before remembering she was dead. Again and again. Then feeling relieved that she wouldn't be affected, then aghast that I'd felt something like relief that she was dead, then shame for not being concerned about the thousands of other people who live like her - the other residents of that care home for a start, lovely Wayne and mad Clare. Round and round, inside my head all day.

Then, well, I've probably never mentioned Sam's step-brother and sisters, because they weren't in her life when I started this blog as her dad had split up with their mum by then. But they were her weekend family for about ten years, maybe more, and she thought of them as her other brother and sisters - we don't bother with all that step and half stuff, we're all in it together. But then her dad left their mum in a way that made the mum furious and bitter and she cut off all contact, which upset Sam a lot - none of them came to her wedding and they were never heard of again, until she died and her dad asked if they could come to the funeral. Of course, so they all did, the ex-step-mum, the twins and the little sister, all well into their forties now. They didn't come to the wake, so I didn't get a chance to really speak with them, but the boy (man) twin friended me on Facebook and it turns out he's a carpet fitter, so he's been round today fitting that free carpet into what will be my craft room.  And he came in his big van so we went over the hills to M's to get the big bookcase for said craft room.  And he's nice - I never knew him before, but he's a nice, gentle man and all afternoon while we've been hanging out together, me and him, I kept thinking that I couldn't wait to tell Sammie about him coming round, but she's dead isn't she, she's fucking dead and gone and I can't tell her anything.

But I am still grateful for: having my craft room almost done; a walk on the beach just after the sun had gone down, in the last of the light; a date tomorrow to see my pal from Vegas again before she goes back; the mantra that I have been saying "I draw to me everything I need to live a joyful, balanced life"; a warm bed awaiting me

Night night xxx

PS I'd like to say that I fucking hate the elf on the shelf and all that goes with it. Just fuck off with that.

12:23 a.m. - 14.12.19

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