annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Done It's all been very hard, mainly because I've allowed myself to become distracted to the point of lunacy about getting my submission in for the Free Read. This is a proper detailed report back from a Literary Consultancy that would cost hundreds of quids, far more than I can afford, but I passed the qualifying stuff to get one free ages ago and have been unable to get it together. I know given the circs I might have been able to give myself a pass, but I couldn't. I once had a meeting with an agent who'd read my first novel and liked it, but I fucked that up by not getting it together and I Could Not Bear to do it again, especially at my age, last chance saloon etc. I know this is a distraction from my sorrow at the death of my daughter, which I can only face intermittently, but there you go, it's all beyond my control. Apart from the submission, which I finally emailed just now. Woo hoo, done. It's edited extracts from this blog, from years ago. The first section is from 2006, when I was teaching and me and a bunch of boffy kids all did National Novel Writing Month. Then there's a chunk from when I moved to the city, and a final section after I'd done the big recovery programme and both my girls started to become seriously unwell. Sounds fucking ghastly, doesn't it? I hope to get back to proper writing now that it's done - like, here, often and at length. I started this the other day, when I was as agitated as fuck - I want to remember it so I'm leaving it in "I'm at Son's in London, for the weekend. Haven't done anything yet as the drive nearly finished me off. The last time I drove on the M25 was bringing ED down to live on the coast - June 2016 - and I've lost the knack. Tonight we had torrential rain - the kind where you have to put the wipers on double fast - which left huge, anxiety-increasing puddles right across the carriageway, in the dark, and then roadworks, on and on, mile after mile of narrow lanes and cones, and lorries hurtling past too close, and nowhere to stop, at all, just having to talk myself into keeping going, into believing it possible to not die in a horrible multi-vehicle pile-up. Which we didn't as here I am." It got better the next day and we had a grand time together but it's late now and busy day tomorrow so I'm offski. I hope you are all as well as can be. Love and hugs xxx 12:39 a.m. - 14.11.19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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