annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



So much going on, I don't know how to keep up with myself. A list, perhaps

  1. On Thursday, Patti Smith - I'll try and find a clip - there's bound to be some on Youtube, but the weather here is mental and the internet keeps going down. She was on in a church, a monstrosity of a Victorian red brick church that towers over the neighbourhood, but is surprisingly beautiful inside. Original Burne-Jones decor behind the altar, all that malarkey. There was an interview first, where she was just fucking lovely, really normal and interesting, talking about her 'creative memoir' books which are getting increasingly creative as they come along. Then she read bits out, interspersed with a few songs, accompanied by just her guitar and Tony Shanahan, her bass player. It was so intimate and moving - she talks about loss a lot, loss of Robert Mapplethorpe, of her husband, her brother and most recently loss of her friend, Sam Shepard. She read extracts about his last days. I went with my friend J, the writer, and S, my sister-in'law. We found it very powerful. I lost it completely when she read this: "This is what I know. Sam is dead. My brother is dead. My mother is dead. My father is dead..." I mean, really, Patti. Talk about killing me softly. I came undone.  But she continued, "My husband is dead. My cat is dead. And my dog who was dead in 1957 is still dead. Yet still I keep thinking that something wonderful is about to happen, Maybe tomorrow. A tomorrow following a whole succession of tomorrows." And I do, don't I? My Sam is dead too, yet still I have some kind of something, despite the intermittent despair. So that was Thursday.

  2. On Friday I met my friend Jay, last seen in 1988, when we graduated from Uni together. Yay for Facebook and bringing people back into our lives. We had lunch then walked to the seafront and back in the rain, talking non-stop, instantly feeling OK, feeling that yes, we did still like and trust each other and find each other interesting. Nearly six miles though, in the rain, with the poor little dog trotting alongside, soaking wet.

  3. Today it was raining even more but with mad winds as well. I had a go at walking, doing my usual thing of heading off into the wind  so that it's behind me on the way back. I learned this the hard way - if you start with it behind you, you end up going miles down the beach really quickly, then have to push into it when you're tired to get back. Anyway, it was just too strong, would have taken me forever, and I got into a panic about not being able to do my 6,000 steps until I decided to go to the local shopping hell, where there's a big Tesco and a big M&S, linked together under one roof, almost 2,000 steps in diameter. So I did that, round and round, and felt both proud that I'd kept to my commitment and concerned that even when the weather was being freaky, I couldn't just let it go, even when I'd done more than double the day before, I couldn't just shrug and say ah well, not today.

  4. I made Bloke do two hours cleaning this morning - both of us, from 10 till 12, tidying and cleaning. Made a huge difference.

OK, midnight now, so off to bed.

12:07 a.m. - 03.11.19


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