annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



This has been one of those weeks packed with so much going on that I don't know where to start, let alone remember. I remember when life was dull, a friend on one of the recovery courses that suggested we use affirmations suggested "infinite riches flow freely into my life". Well, I had to pack that in very quickly as it all got too much.

I keep opening my mouth and inviting more. Like the nice shy gay man who comes to art sometimes, admitted that he struggles to get out of bed some days if he has no plans. He lives near the care home, he's nice, would he like to meet one after noon for a walk? yes, Monday, when I already have qi  gong and acupuncture, but hey ho.

Like my friend B (an actual straight bloke that I quite like - he's had terrible, awesomely horrible health scares for years - was first told he had six months to live 14 years ago and then again for different things every year or so ever since. He's exhausted and depressed now  and wants to be part of a recovery programme so I'll take him along to mine.

This week goes: qi gong, acupuncture, walk as above, appointment with new writer in residence, sewing group, counselling, yoga, appointment for help to fill in ED's benefits form (just in case she's had a miracle cure and is working in the black economy while claiming tax payers money), visit to friend B as above, ED's birthday celebration, Friday art, ghost-net weaving workshop. Into which I need to add an hour a day of editing old blog for the free read, walking the dog, visiting the daughter, writing a new blog and resting. For fuck's sake, I'm meant to be resting!

The results of the latest tests show that I have an area of inflammation and the remains of the pleurisy in my right lung. Less than at the previous X-Ray, but not all gone. I was given the option of more anti-biotics or carrying on self-healing which is slow but steady and won't make me ill in the meantime. That's what I chose, though someone yesterday said I should take the meds and get it gone before winter sets in, which does sound right. I shall have a think.

The other thing I did this week was spend all my money over a few days without for a moment remembering that I no longer have a professional salary. I paid for another month of yoga - £50 on offer for as many classes as I like for a month, which is a good deal if I do two a week, which is my aim, Weds and Sun every week. Then tickets for me and YD to see As You Like It at the Globe theatre in London - that's the replica of the old one and the cheap seats have to stand - well, I can't do that so we have seats but then you have to hire a cushion as they're wooden, then the train tickets, then tickets to see Hannah Gadsby - well, we have to see her, don't we? YD will pay me back for hers, probably...

It's all very hard. ED's birthday sparks us all off. Grandson, YD, Son, me - we're all fighting to keep our feet on the ground and not just spiral right out of control. I saw this the other day - this is us

grief chart

10:18 a.m. - 19.08.19


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