annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Daughter dreams I dreamed of Elder Daughter last night - well this morning - I'd already been up to the bathroom and back. We were going somewhere and propped her up against the post at the bottom of the stairs to wait. She grinned at me, a fully present grin, and started chatting, nineteen to the dozen as ever was. I told her she'd been gone, trapped inside that broken body and how much I'd missed her. Next we're going up some stairs at the airport and she's running ahead, looking back over her shoulder to tell me something. She's there, alive and vivid and gobby and skinny. I call out to ask where the wheelchair is - isn't it risky flying off without it? Nah, it'll be fine she says and vanishes round the corner. But she falls and I panic but there's some kind of plastic wheelchair which we balance her on and off we go to catch out plane. Someone says we've been burgled at home but I don't care. I wake up half thrilled to have spent time with her, hearing her voice, being together, half broken at the full knowledge of what we've lost - I don't keep that in the front of my mind or I wouldn't survive, but fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
10:57 a.m. - 25.05.19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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