annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Gah! Formatting - how did I suddenly stop being able to do that? My brain is full to bursting and not in a good way, leaking stuff out all over the place.

It's all been head down, crack on, get it done, and I have been getting it done, most notably delivering 13 original watercolour beach hut paintings, 23 assorted bits of sea glass jewellery and 20 beeswax wraps to the new craft shop in town. It was SO MUCH HARDER than that sounds, honestly, you'd think I'd built the shop by hand, stone by bloody stone, the state I got in and the exhaustion I felt afterwards. But I tell you what, I sweated hours filling in the fucking inventory and sending it off by the end of yesterday, because the woman said I'd need to do it and it made my head hurt so much, then today, when I took the stuff in she said I was the only bloody person who'd done that. She was so impressed when it all went smoothly straight on to her system ( ???) without creating any extra work and I WAS THE ONLY ONE! I'm not asking for a gold star (well, I am, obviously, and a merit please) just feeling a bit mind-boggled by all these other people not doing it. Was it too hard? Probably - I'm clever and I struggled. Or was it unnecessary and they knew that?  Maybe. Am I pathetically obedient? Doubtful to be honest, but I was and still am desperate to sell some fucking stuff and buy myself a pair of trousers that neither fall down nor leave a deep red indentation round my middle. Jogging bottoms, that's all. From M&S, because the ones I have, wearing today, I bought there in 2003 and they only cost a tenner. (Not just any jogging bottoms.)

I feel a bit manic to be honest. I just emailed a load of blog posts to a new literary agent that's setting up, with a half-arsed bloody letter, convinced I had to do it within ten minutes or I'd never do it at all. Oy.

Younger Daughter has been having a hard time of late, which built up to a big crash today.  I went and sat with her, listened to her for a while, went and got her some food, made her eat a salad as well as sausages and chips then spent an hour and a half doing the washing up in her kitchen. After which I drove her to her Dr's appointment and she discovered she'd been coming off her meds too quickly. Whew.

And, by the way, today Son has been clean and dry for eleven years. Go son. What a star.

Going to go and do a headspace meditation - I'm long past my best and I'm meeting my pal J at 10 tomorrow so must get some rest.

Today I have been grateful for: YD's doctor responding so quickly to a call for help - about ten minutes - fucking miraculous; nice chatty people in the area where she now lives - it's meant to be a bit rough but I like it there a lot; sleeping dog; mashed banana and yoghurt; still light at ten past four - woo hoo and yay for longer days

Sleep tight dear friends.

11:46 p.m. - 08.01.19

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