annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



I've done loads and written nothing this week so I'm going to whizz through a list as I want to remember some of it

  1. The doula was brilliant. That's the big, life-changing event. Man, there's nothing like spilling your guts to a person who has chosen to make a career of supporting the dying and their families. It's all so raw and awful I can hardly bear to go beyond the most obvious feelings with my friends: "Yes I miss her, yes it's hard, yes I'm scared. How are you, though? Did you get that job?" and on we go with big sighs of relief all round. It's OK - I'm not complaining - I have no desire to burden my friends with all the crap rattling around in my head, but oh my god, what a relief to be able to just let it all pour out and know that the doula signed up for this, she's trained for it, she's probably heard it all before, it's safe. We sat on a bench by the Pavilion for over an hour. I told her I didn't have any money and she asked if she could write me up for a further degree she's doing and we'd be all square. Cool. Seeing her again after Christmas but I have her number and can call if I need to.

  2. Daughter is breathing much better, so that's a massive relief, obvs. I took her to the MS Centre for physio and they did chest physio which is kind of tapping round her chest, loosening it all. Obviously I keeled over, splat, with relief that she doesn't have a chest infection, but on we go, people, on we go.

  3. On Saturday I took her to see Jools Holland with guest, Marc Almond, of Tainted Love fame                  [youtube]  It pissed down with rain all day but we sneaked in and out of the van in between heavy showers, so although it was a drag, I felt lucky too. The gig was good - not the kind of thing I'd choose to put on, but they're really talented musicians and very enthusiastic, which does the trick at a live show. 10D839AF-2E11-43E2-A385-7F52DD386D36There are seventeen of them in this band, plus three guest singers - how do they make that work financially?

  4. Then on Sunday I went to London with my boy to Highgate Cemetery to visit the tomb of K Marx FBDFCA09-889C-4A5F-8748-BD1AEA675479 while there we also spotted the grave of Douglas Adams, of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy fame:8D99BFD4-94D2-46F7-A579-A259785D603E There were lots of objects on and around the gravestone so I placed that little car on top - I'd found it on the beach and put it in my pocket rather than in the litter bag, for no real purpose, but this pleased me. It was grand spending time with Son. He's struggling as well. We all are. First Christmas without my brother too.

  5. There's been more but I'm going to bed now. Busy. I've stopped the writing groups till after Christmas, but that's just next week. There's been a fair bit of dog walking, by the riverE6C0227F-B20A-4CAC-9CD8-C4D8C521DC9Aand beach moochingADA1B120-2B3A-4515-A60D-75F32134C870 People have been very complimentary about my photos, but really, I just go for a walk an hour before sunset, on days with clearish skies, by water, and point my phone in the right direction. Then I crop to get a balanced composition - zooming in with a phone is no good and you don't have time to get in position if it's a sunset you're after.

So that's me. I am grateful for: beach living; my kids; Younger Daughter's pal moving into a new flat and finding a newish pair of Ugg boots in my size not hers and giving them to me (yay, woohoo, etc etc) - this makes happy feet; having warm feet enabling me to go bare legged - just a skirt and boots, no tights or leggings - feels good - the posties do it on all but the coldest days and now me too; early night coming up - it's only half past midnight.

Sleep tight, dear friends. Thank you for reading. Hugs xx

12:36 a.m. - 18.12.18


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