annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Bits
I've only gone and done the washing up. At 11.30pm, I turned off the Oasis doc that I've seen before, got changed into my nightie and did two days worth of dishes. May have had a little toke on a pipe. Just one toke, literally - I've become such a lightweight. But sod it, it's cheap being a lightweight so I'm not complaining.
Reading back through my old blogs I've felt that recently I lost my voice, as if - ah I don't know what if. It works better when... no, I don't know that either, but there's been a wobble, a loss of confidence in myself, paradoxically as a result of seeing genuine admiration for my writing in the face of someone whose opinion I respect.
(Also I realise that I cannot bear the thought of living with Bloke till the end of my days. I mean I cannot bear it. And I'm not going to. But after that I'm stuck as I have no income to speak of and am a hard sell on the job market. And I'm not going to write about it in any detail here, as that feels megacraptastic, but I want it said and out there. )
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Meantime - my head is buzzing with ideas for all sorts of writing stuff, but I'm not making time to get them down. *pauses for thought* the telly might have to go.
Meantime number two, I must go to bed as tomorrow (Monday) at 9 I have to be at the dentist's in the city, handing over my teeth until Wednesday morning, for fucking fuck's sake. After which they will fit and not be on the verge of falling out all the time, making disgusting slurping noises when I speak. This is money where your mouth is time, for me and all my crap about how looks don't mean shit. Ha. I have the journalling group at 11 and yoga at 1, then the next day is Tuesday art group. I know from experience that if I don't attend these things my mental health will start to spiral out of control at an alarming rate. I will sit around and think too much, and the thoughts will turn sad and then bad and fuck that.
In other meanwhile here's Bob and Shirley, snuggled up. I will get used to that in the end, but it still makes me happy to see them together.
Shirley will be a year old tomorrow, 25th. Is she still a puppy?
Today I am grateful for: going to see lots of gardens; bumping into Nurse Marcus in one of them; Bloke making a delish dinner; having done a load of washing all the way back to hanging up clean and dry; bed now
Sleep tight xx
1:05 a.m. - 25.06.18
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