annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Mixed

1. Brilliant day yesterday going to London with Daughter, meeting Son, hanging out, larking about, that kind of thing. Far too fucking hot for me, walked too far, didn't eat enough, but with those two so all good.


2. Before that spent a day with my pal M, going round some of the other artists' open houses, seeing some weird and wonderful and awful shite art, remembering how much I want to live in the city, wondering how you work out which things you need the courage to change and which you have to accept. Viz, I fucking hate living here in this shit house, surrounded by narrow-minded people who look at me as if I've crawled out of a hole just because I don't dress the way they think I should at my age (at least I assume that's what's going on - I get that up and down, head to toe examination followed by a sneering turning away and no one saying hello apart from one set of next-door neighbours). I so want to live in the city again but I can't see how to achieve it. Or whether I should be aiming at letting it go...


3. I think I'm going to give up the sea glass beach on sunny days. There's an increasing number of naked men there on hot days, not just at the far end, but all over. I was going to write quite a lot about it, to try and unravel what it is that makes me feel so uncomfortable, but I'm too tired. Maybe another night. Factors to be considered include having been assaulted in the past - although it's not fear of being assaulted again that makes me uncomfortable; walking alone on this beach which only has one access point; the men being solitary, not gathered in groups and no sign of them copping off with each other or eyeing each other up. And this incel business - fucking hell. I'm not making any statements here - just throwing some ideas down - and I am mental, obviously.


4. The dog is getting snappy and out of control but I googled it and apparently it's normal and will pass.


5. Today I did the radio interview and I think it went OK. The woman from the recovery centre is going to find a link which I will no doubt post here.

11:44 p.m. - 08.05.18

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