annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Tuesday is soooup
- Taking steps to steady myself a bit. Well, one step - I phoned the care home and told the manager that I'm having an episode (rather than just the odd bad day). She's become maybe a friend, feels like a friend, and I know she has my daughter's best interests at heart so that includes being kind to me. She listens and hears and I feel better for having told her and for (at the moment) not feeling I'm letting my daughter down if I don't visit her so often right now. Though I am still thinking I'll probably go tomorrow. I dunno - it's hard.
- Crow at the beach. I've come to love crows. If I had a better memory I'd feed them a few bits of something each time I went to the beach to see if some kind of relationship might develop, but it's now three years since I've lived where crows hand out and I've never remembered to take them anything, so that's a plan that ain't gonna happen.
- Then I went to mosaic group and almost finished my pot:
Even putting white paper round it, the mirror bits pick up colours in the room - there's no green or yellow in this, just pinks and purples, grey and mirror. I just have to grout it now and it's done. Mosaic's not as soothing as painting - all that chopping up bits of tile - pieces flying about, banging. Also, people who have cut themselves badly - self harm rather than accidental. Not soothing. - So back to the beach, twice in one day
Much better, especially in the sunshine, though it was fucking cold - another of those icy winds. I colected loads of wood which I'm drying out for Younger Daughter's birthday - I got her an outdoor firebasket, so she needs wood. Have loads now. - I had a shower - first one for ages. I know, in an ideal world this would be too frequent to be worth mentioning but it's not so it is. In my defence I offer Woody Guthrie's to do list, where you can see, coming in at number 5: 'Take bath'
See also 18: 'Stay glad' and 33: 'Wake up and fight'.
I am grateful for: living by the sea; getting the dog booked into dog school classes in early June; the care home lot being cool; dancing tomorrow; the cat still being with us - so sorry that my friend Joyce lost hers. Hard times, saying goodbye to an aged pet.
11:46 p.m. - 01.05.18
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