annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



  1. Art, Friday art, at the best recovery centre - ah man, how that heals my aching soul. I love C, the woman who runs the group, I mean, love. She's so good at holding all the conversations at the same time, and nipping anything in the bud just before anyone gets upset. There are a few who enjoy dark humour and regaling us with horror stories, but there are those of us who don't and C keeps us safe always. The other group I go to is run by an art teacher, who brings along our art but has no idea of what's appropriate or not in a mental health environment. I'm lucky really to have both, but if I had to pick it would always be the Friday group. Today C took down all the pictures on the walls as we are moving towards our next Open House and she needs to empty all the frames ready for new exhibits. So she asked us to do 'pop-ups' to hang in the meantime. Here's mine:CD65517B-5797-4E8F-B26B-D7E9855161A6 The board doesn't really accept water colour so it's even more unpredictable than proper water colour paper, but ok for a bishbashbosh. I liked making people that worked well enough out of a quick scribble - made me feel kind of competent.

  2. I took Shirley and left her in the car for the hour and a half of the art class so that I could take her to my brother's afterwards. His dog, Tango, and Shirley just romp the whole time, then sleep, which is pretty cool:8C5B76F7-77FA-46BC-8312-F182810CE8B4 though I can't get a photo without blurry bits

  3. My brother gets frailer on every visit. He can't speak and struggles to swallow - he now has a feeding tube to supplement his diet as he can't get enough nutrition, but he perseveres, and we all sat at the table to eat soup that his wife prepared, blended and finely sieved. Man. He gets tired very quickly so barely leaves the house now. I asked SIL if they had considered a wheelchair and she said it had been mentioned a couple of times but he'd been very much against it. I'm all stirred up by this. I can't imagine being in his situation, but I remember with ED and also with YD's husband, that neither of them wanted to use wheelchairs - it's hardly a lifetime ambition for anyone, to be a wheelchair user - but that eventually they were in a "cutting off their nose to spite their face" situation, as they couldn't walk so they couldn't go out. Eventually both came round because the alternative is worse. Son-in-law also has MS, but nowhere near as bad as ED and his wheelchair use has remained occasional, just for when he's having an episode that affects his legs, whereas ED is like Bro - they will never be able to walk (much) again. He can still walk around the house, but struggles to get 100 yds outside.  I want to write to him, and urge him to reconsider because he probably hasn't got that much time left, not enough to be slowly coming round to the idea. But I don't know if I can manage to say that to him. I don't know if I can manage not to though. I'll hate myself if he never leaves the house, never gets on the downs or the beach again and I didn't try and persuade him not to give up just yet. He hugs me so tight, for such a good long time at the beginning and end of each visit. I have to do my best for him.

  4. Took ED out on the pier later on and read her another story from the anthology. Earnest Hemingway. I'm reading them all, in order. He can fuck off, though, to be honest.  The light became very strange. That hole in the clouds seemed to be right off in the distance, like round the headland, but the reflection on the wet sand was just down there. AE89EC0C-E82F-4B09-9D3D-CC2FBF4874D9 Visibility is interesting - the wind farm is seven miles offshore and that comes and goes according to whatever - sometimes you can almost see every nut and bolt on the turbines and sometimes the whole thing is invisible.

  5. I'm glad Courtney Act won Celebrity BB. Things are pretty grim politically so it lifts my spirits that at least a section of the British public will spend a bit of cash to see a drag queen beat an uptight old Tory in a popularity contest.

I am grateful for: my health; my puppy (not really a puppy now, but still); having nice chats with people on facebook; diaryland coming back - ooh, don't do that to us, Andrew; bed


Night night xxx


1:22 a.m. - 03.02.18


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