annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


A bit better

  1. Today has been a much better day. I made good choices. The guy from the carers' art group at the hospice had called last week to remind me which Monday the group was, but in the end I decided not to go today as it would mean lots of mad rushing to get to acupuncture and yoga and no. Calm and chilled, not trying to squeeze too much into the day. I did phone him to let him know.

  2. I think a big part of feeling better is having actively chosen again to spend the amount of time with my girl that I do. It's been easy to slide into negativity about the wrong things, trying to avoid the big things, but I feel a bit clearer now. I realised that I fucked up the War Horse tickets (by not getting round to buying them until suddenly all the wheelchair spaces are gone), so I went to the theatre box office and bought tickets, right there and then to go and see Kodo - Japanese drummers that look amazing. I did it in collaboration with the care home manager, on the other end of the phone, and booked for two residents and a care worker who will drive us all in their bus. Yay. Next Tuesday it is.

  3. And I bought tickets for some stand up comedy with my other daughter. Put them in my bag with my new stainless steel water bottle which I hadn't done up properly so it leaked all over them, but I didn't lose my rag, I just went in Itsu and asked for some napkins and dried them off. It was a gloriously sunny day today - the weather is all about the extremes these days - either torrential rain or clear blue skies. Lovely:

  1. IMG_5206

4. I want to do another sizable beach litter collage to go in that cafe - there's a big wall the owner said I could put my work on so I might as well use it - but I can't decide what to do. I think I want to stick with the sea as that's where I'm finding the stuff, and the fishing debris is a good bluey-green (nothing like the muddy brown of the English Channel, but this is art, dahling), but I've done the pier twice so time for something else. The subject that has the most appeal is the fishing boats, in terms of shape, but they are part of the problem - well, not the boats, but the fishermen (and they all do seem to be men so far) chucking all their bits of cast off net and line over the side, strangling marine life blah blah blah. If I do a collage of fishing boats I'll have to have some kind of commentary on the issues but my feeling is to get my feet under the table first, before coming in with the poliotics. So what can the subject be? Hmm. Pondering.

5. I got into a twitter spat today with some dickhead bloke. Honestly. A woman I follow had tweeted:

guy: ...just one drink

me: no thank you

guy: come on it's just a drink

me: look, i'm sorry I just want to read my book while i wait for my bf

guy: what ur bf doesn't let you have friends?

random woman: Clara? Hi! *hugs* (whispers) u ok?

women are great

and bloody hell, the response from some blokes beggars belief. I wouldn't have got involved, but I was on the bus... My view is that 'No thanks' is an entirely sufficient response to an offer like that from an unknown man, but apparently, despite all the recent publicity and the #metoo there are still far, far too many men who think that they are owed more. I tweeted: No thank you is polite/nice enough to an unsolicited offer from a stranger. Dismissive? - and this bloke replied directly to me: Obviously it wasn't. Yes dismissive as in the conversation has concluded. No one likes that shit from anyone it's rude as fuck. Are you slow? I said how to deal with it quickly and easily. If you want the back and forth do it your way. #dumbass  He had suggested saying, 'I'm flattered but, no thanks' which is exactly the kind of remark that feeds the second misapprehension - that women say no as the start of an erotic game - fucking shitloads of men think this, that no means yes - if you ask them what a woman should do if she really wants to say no, they can't quite compute - what has a woman's opinion got to do with it? If a bloke wants it, then it's game on. #angry

Today I am grateful for: a walk in the sunshine; great acupuncture; leftover stew from yesterday for dinner tonight, tasting even better; mapometer to help me work out how far I'd walked, having forgotten to put on my pedometer; coming out of that last slump

Take care, night night, thank you for reading

12:26 a.m. - 23.01.18


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