annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blue I can feel the benefits of getting my routine back. That's a sentence I never thought I'd write - I have never before either needed or wanted a routine, but have been dead happy winging it, making up plans, changing my mind, being flexible as fuck. Not any more. Awful. I cannot bear the way I get in such a state when circumstances mean I have to change my plans, or the way I fall to pieces if I have a free day. Sigh. So these last few weeks have been hard but now I'm settling back into my groove. Yoga today, third time in eight days, bliss. My cheque for the PPI cleared so I bought myself some clothes, including a gorgeous off-white fleecy coat from Gap, reduced from £119 to £30, beautiful but quite mental. I must not gather armfuls of driftwood off the beach when wearing it. Repeat: I must not gather armfuls of driftwood off the beach when wearing it. I checked to see if I could dye it, but apparently fleecy polyester can't be dyed in a machine but needs boiling up with caustic chemicals in a non-aluminium pan for hours, so fuck that. I've walked 5.6 miles today, 46 miles this year. Pretty good, huh? Still fat though. Going to do my first proper session at the gym tomorrow, after art, before walking Shirley and visiting ED. Busy busy. She was in bed when I got to the care home today, which I was disappointed about as I'd wanted to take her out, but it turned out to be a lovely visit. I was knackered, as I'd been rushing about (see mileage above), so I told her I was going to chill for a bit then if she liked, I'd read her a story. This one: target="_blank">http://englishwithmselliott.weebly.com/uploads/1/7/2/6/17261352/my_polish_teacher's_tie.pdf by Helen Dunmore, taken from tan old GCSE English anthology, so not too long and guaranteed to be worth the time spent reading it, which it was. It's so hard to tell how ED's responding these days - I wasn't sure how she was taking the story - I don't know how much mental capacity she has, if indeed any sometimes, but I thought maybe the sound of my voice would be a comfort to her, so I kept going, with my best English teacher enunciation. It's a beautifully written story - and at the end ED had an expression which seemed to suggest a wistful imagining of the fictional world and characters we'd just spent time with, though that could be mere wishful thinking on my part. Then I walked the dog along the seafront in the dark before coming home and watching Eastenders and Big Brother. Meh. Bloke completed the Blue Badge (disabled parking badge) application today and submitted it online. Nightmare, a real fucking nightmare. It's had me in tears at least four times and in the end I had to throw my hands up, surrender and ask him to do it. And we're both quite clever, so god knows how many people just give up and go without. Today I am grateful for: a lump sum of cash arriving in my life when I'd thought the days of such things were over; Shirley getting quite good at walking nicely on a lead; Bloke doing the blue badge, obvs; bed; furry slippers Sweet dreams xx 12:20 a.m. - 12.01.18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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