annanotbob2's diary

annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five

Still nothing from the police. Don't know why I'm surprised - the papers have been full of stories about cuts to police funding and numbers for years and Diane Abbott has been saying just this week that they're on the brink of crisis, but still, I find I'm surprised when it affects me. I'm going to start harassing them if I don't hear by midday tomorrow.

At 5 rhythms yesterday I danced myself into being miles too hot. I asked the teacher if it would be OK to take my top off, which she clearly thought was a weird thing to ask rather than just do, and when I turned round one of the other women had taken her top off and was dancing in her bra. So I did - I wear a crop-top thing instead of a bra, but there I was, cavorting about without a thought. When the class ends we have a little sitting-in-a-circle-round-a-candle moment and one of the other women looked beamingly at me and thanked me for being so free, for setting such an example blah blah blah. It was noticeable that she said this to me, the 63 year old fat woman, rather than the other, young, slim, beautiful one. I get you, Mrs. How brave to expose all that wibbly wobbly, wrinkly-skinned belly. Well fuck you, is what I say. What I say here. There I just said thank you. Chicken. Or polite.

At yoga today I had a momentary panic attack, while doing a supported head-stand. Just for a few seconds, blind terror, so I came down double-quick, but my eyes filled and overflowed down my face and onto my vest. Awful. It's never happened before like that.

I took Shirley out with ED today, solo. First time of wielding a puppy and a wheelchair simultaneously and it was pretty hassle free. We walked along the prom, into the sunset, then turned and walked back towards a beautiful rising harvest moon

11:49 p.m. - 02.11.17

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------