annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK, bit bitty It was a good choice to take some time out. Even better to not go to A&E last night. Sam had a member of care home staff with her until she was fast asleep in a proper bed on a ward (not a trolley in A&E), which took till 2.30am, then the dietitian came out first thing to mend the clip on the end of the feeding tube and she was back in the care home by 10.30 this morning, her fluids all good after being maintained intravenously. Jeez, when I think of that last fucking care home, letting her go literally weeks, probably five or six weeks, without more than a sip or two of water a day, letting her almost die... N the manager said Sam was knackered when she got back but seemed to have enjoyed the adventure. I expect she did - she's a shocker for staring blatantly at handsome male doctors. She doesn't get to see many men and even fewer worth a good gawp. It was hard, waking up and not going down there. N and I agreed that Sam needs to be seen by a doctor again - we need to know what's going on. That diagnosis of being terminal seems like it was years ago - did we imagine it? What's fucking occurring here? It was the last 5 Rhythms class till September. I love that so much, though I always like the other dancers better when we're dancing rather than sitting round in a circle at the end for a brief chat. Ah, fuck off, will you, is what I mostly think when they're droning on about their stuff. That's when I know - I am full to capacity - no room for anything else. Don't want to know about their shit, blah blah blah, not listening and you can't make me. I did have a little pipe just now - I've had a couple this week, when I noticed I hadn't smoked any green for months. I think I was scared of where it might take me - I'm off the booze for the same reason - don't want to get into being miserable pissed - awful. I went to the garden centre later, feeling all miz and lonely, so I whatsapped a pic to Hil and we got into a nice to and fro and then I bumped into JP by the vegetable seeds - I haven't seen her for years - the woman who inspired me to apply to uni when I was a single parent of three little kids, two still in nappies. Like that pic two entries ago - that was then. We stood and chatted by the vegetable seeds for over an hour. Blimey, I've spent most of the duration of this post staring at the wall, lost in daydreams about stuff that I haven't written down and now it's almost 1 am. Bye xx 12:48 a.m. - 13.07.17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||