annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Still Here we are, Monday night and still all the same. On we go, on we go. I have waves of unmitigated sorrow and fury and rage, big RAGE at the universe stealing my darling and doing it so slowly that I can already hardly remember what she was like before she was like this, and then I'm calm and plodding on and not thinking about it, pushing it away when it comes into my head, but that doesn't always work. She's still there, lying in her bed, not wanting to get up, but not getting any worse. Not starting this infection of the kidney we were warned about. But not really very present unless she's in pain - that brings her to the surface, but even a small dose of paracetamol eases it and she drifts away again. I try to live, to do things, but she's all I can see. I drag myself to yoga, throw myself in the sea, paint a painting, wash the dishes. And wait. Mainly I wait. That's all. I am grateful for: pain relief; bed; sea; friends; chocolate 12:04 a.m. - 20.06.17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||