annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Isolation I wrote this by hand in my notebook yesterday: May 13th, 3.40, Emergency Floor, Zone C, Shittown Hospital. ED's in with a UTI, her belly bloated up again and she was v groggy so NB [care home manager] sent her to A&E and now they're keeping her in as her heart beat is too high, 122 at the moment though that's the lowest I've seen it, it's been in the 130s [reached 146 for a while]. There's a woman opposite who wants to chat but I can't quite be arsed and I can't quite hear her and she's a bit off her head, talking nonsense and I can't find the patience to be kind. They wanted to weigh her just now and asked her how tall she is. She said six inches and wouldn't be shifted, not five foot six inches, just six inches. My kit for being with ED in hospital includes: water This unit is five beds, all pretty low key, I think. Five women, the others all quite old, observations, not much else. A sister and a health Care Assistant with occasional docs coming in and closing the curtains round someone while they go into a huddle. It's in the new part of the hospital, easy clean, curves at the edges where the floor meets the walls, no great pipes up at ceiling height, gathering dust and bacteria, like the old wards used to have. That's me, dealing with unbearable pressure by focusing on irrelevant details. Today: May 14th, Day 3 really, given that she came in on Friday afternoon. We were moved yesterday, out of Zone C, all in a rush and a flap, as ED had done a runny shit and all hell broke loose. M [ED's key worker] kept trying to tell them that ED's PEG fed, all liquid, so her stools are always loose, but by then we were in this isolation room and no one was going to be the one responsible for saying she could be back in a bay with other patients. It's hospital protocol and quite right too really. diarrhoea going round the wards is a fucking nightmare, but now ED's in a room on her own - she's better in a bay, with nurses and HCAs passing, glancing over, bored patients opposite, noticing changes. Ah well. I came home this evening at about 8, when M turned up again. The care home have been brilliant, I have been present but mostly frozen - you know, the fight/flight/freeze business - choose one, in fact don't choose one, one will choose you. Panic stations. Freeze. Silent, obedient, useless. I don't even know what to wish for. I am grateful for: the day staff on the last ward, brilliant and funny, making ED laugh; YD for coming in and looking after her sister, so that I could chill out; my friend MH for persuading me to keep our planned date this morning to look at art in the festival and never mind me being good company or not; the NHS, still struggling on; bed 12:12 a.m. - 15.05.17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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