annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary



  1. This morning I danced, slowly, deeply, wonderfully - mostly with my eyes shut, lost in the music, letting my limbs gradually soften and release... blissful. Why isn't this part of everyone's life?

  2. I had lunch with my pal M, too chemo-ed out to dance today, although the woman who runs it asked me to tell her that if she wants to come and 'share the space' we can make her a nest in some duvets, which she may well do, but not next week as her chemo has been moved to Wednesday mornings...

  3. Dangerspouse and I have had an enjoyable game of pun tennis over the course of the afternoon - see notes on the entry named Arty-Farty on my Wordpress , if you want to, which you probably don't. Both of us are chronic double-posters, copying our entries into wordpress and diaryland, both really preferring the little corner of the internet that is d'land but ultimately fucked off with its broken condition. We couldn't have had this exchange on d'land - the notes set up there is mad and you no longer get notifications and moan moan moan - but still we like it. I like the buddy list with recent updates in pink. I can't remember how to update my buddy list on the wordpress page so that I can click and read... wah wah

  4. I spent the afternoon with my Elder Daughter, wandering round town, fighting our way through the market:


buying some cool fat quarters in the fabric shop:


and generally hanging out. Lots of catheter aggro later, lots of helpful community nursing care. All's well that end's well, that kind of thing.

5. I got into a spat with a woman making racist remarks on the local facebook page tonight and tried to be patient and engaged, like my friend Diane does. They're closing the Post Office and moving it inside a small supermarket, a rubbish decision, for reasons I don't want to get bogged down in again. She rightly pointed out that when they did this in the next town along, the service was terrible, but blamed it on the nationality of the people running it, in quite offensive terms. It all got pretty heated, especially when someone called her racist. She was outraged at this, livid, despite the aforementioned comments and also having said the post office would be fine in a shop so long as it was run by a "nice white British family". I find this quite fascinating - everyone knows racism is 'wrong' and 'nasty' even those who think your ability to run a post office is determined by where your parents were born, but they don't think racist is what they are. I managed to refrain from being abusive, but totally failed to elicit what exactly she thought racism was, if it wasn't making wholesale assumptions about people based on their race. I asked that several times, but she just ignored it.

6. I am going to appeal against the decision to cut my disability benefits, since one of the other women at the recovery centre appealed successfully. I contacted the person who had helped her and she agreed to help me too. I have an appointment on Monday, and spent the early evening turning the house upside down looking for the paperwork. Fucking hell. That's all I can say. Fuck ing hell. I did find it in the end, but Jesus. Who's going to put all this stuff away again?


Today I am grateful for: energy; making it through the night without codeine - first night since the fall, didn't sleep well, but didn't take more codeine - may take one tonight; dancing - man I just LOVE the dancing - in the morning, stone cold sober, no mdma, nothing - amazeballs; care home staff; local MS centre - well, it covers a massive area but it's just down the road and hurrah, they can give ED physio next week and every week thereafter - the NHS physio system has been well fucked - we've been waiting nearly a year - she had an assessment but then nothing... But this is about gratitude, so thank you, MS centre.


12:10 a.m. - 11.05.17


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