annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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On the wall
o the mirror we got in Mothercare works a treat - it attached quite easily to the armrest of the wheelchair and I could see my girl's face clearly as we wandered up and down the prom today. No wind so we'll have to see how it does in that, but so far so good. Many thanks to the peeps who suggested bike shops - that was where we started looking but the mirrors there all needed to be fitted to bars (like handlebars) that the wheelchair doesn't have.
So. At yoga today I had to face the fact that the leg injury (or strain or whatever it is) in my knee has been getting worse not better since it started two weeks ago. There's a pose we do called Hero Pose (virasana) where you kneel down, sitting on your feet, then slide your feet apart and sit on the floor in between them. Last time (after knee started hurting) I had to sit on a block - this time even two blocks weren't enough - I couldn't lower myself right down - it felt as if everything had shortened, exceedingly painful. Three blocks was OK but not comfortable. That was the only position that put any pressure on my knee, but walking the two miles from the car to the Buddhist Centre (long way round along the beach as it was so beautiful) had me limping before I got there. Meh. So I phoned the NHS helpline thing (I had an email the other day from the health centre more or less asking us not to make appts unless we really have to as more and more housing estates have been squeezed in with no extra medical services and it's all on its knees) and explained that it's been two weeks and she asked me a gazillion questions then said I do need to see or at least speak to a doctor. And probably stop walking for a bit. I dread that. I might keep up the yoga and catch the bus down there like I used to, but the walking has been keeping me (more or less) sane. I'll have to do it to let it heal, but fucking hell. And boo hoo.
Grandson and Younger Daughter made it to the care home with me today to visit Elder Daughter and for GS to give her her Mother's Day presents. First time this year. I'm saying nothing. Her key worker had taken her out to get me a card and presents and they were just perfect - exactly what she would have chosen. I don't know how they do it. There was a card and a mug, both sentimental as fuck - the kind of things I used to (silently) sneer at when she gave them to me before, but that left me desolate when I realised I'd never get anything like them again. Except I did, because they are good and kind down there and have taken the trouble to get to know her, or to keep offering alternatives until they can discern what she wants from tiny flickers across her face.
I am grateful for: the care home staff; sunny days; beautiful yoga; early night; friends
Sleep tight y'all. Hugs xx
12:02 a.m. - 28.03.17
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