annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Art and that
- Yesterday's trip to London was hard work as that wind fucked the trains up - something came down on the line, blah blah blah - four hours to get the fifty miles home - we only had off peak tickets so our time there was all a bit quick, but still amazing to see SIL's work in the Tate. This is his big bit, which goes round, like a roundabout, called Whirly Wheelers, with someone filming it on her phone!
Today has been harder though, lots of difficult things going on, all of which I managed to deal with until I arrived home and discovered I'd lost my woolly hat at which point I broke down completely, for about an hour. Honestly. It's just a poxy hat, though I do need it as I get ear-ache in the wind, but I can get another one tomorrow for a fiver. It's loss, though, I get that. I've learned to get that. I'm sucking up all the real loss so losing something like this sneaks past my radar and unleashes the reaction that would be appropriate to all the other losses. Daughter, brother, friend.
I'm going to walk with my bro though, now he's not working. I don't know how that will be - his speech is fucked and my hearing's not great - just thinking about it knots up my stomach, but this is all that's on offer. His speech won't return, any more than ED's will, though he still has a clear mind and may become reconciled to an alternative method of communicating sooner rather than later. I hope so. I want to spend time with him and I don't know how I can manage two of them who don't speak any more.
ED had a scan yesterday which showed the remaining kidney stone has enlarged, so the op (scheduled for next Friday, fingers crossed for no more cancellations), is risky again, as the stone is likely to be full of infection and will take longer to break down. I'm concerned about the cause and consequence of all this - is she now going to keep getting kidney stones and need endless operations? Unbearable. At least she's not in as much pain as she could be - the MS has definitely fucked up her pain system - she should be in permanent agony but she clearly isn't.
One of my paintings has been chosen by the Recovery Centre for their entry in the brochure for the Artists' Open House:
which is pretty cool, but also kind of odd, as I didn't think the painting was all that good, but there you go.
I had loads of things I wanted to write about here but they've all drifted off, out of my mind, behind the sofa perhaps, or under the coal scuttle. can't find them though, so I'd better skedaddle.
I am grateful for: being bought lunch by my pal C from the art group; finding a good set of shelves for the garden by a bin :
and that basket, though I couldn't get the shelves into the car, but I felt pretty chuffed as I carried them back - hope they were found by someone who lived nearer; weather still a bit warmer, nice even if it doesn't last; walk on the beach at sunset, low tide, lovely.
warm bed, good book.
Sleep tight, love xxx
1:28 a.m. - 25.02.17
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------