annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Keeping On

Head down, on we go. That's got me through today, with nothing worse than occasional flashes of total panic/despair/hysteria but they haven't lasted long. I'm not sure if it's the meditation (headspace)  or what, but I know right deep in my bones that there's no point in being anxious about this operation now, that if bad shit is coming it will be here soon enough and there's no point spoiling what might be the last of the good bit with projecting forward. I am really glad and quite proud that I managed to do this during the earlier stages of Elder Daughter's MS. I helped her to squeeze the maximum enjoyment out of life with her diminishing capacities, and I somehow managed to convince myself that it wasn't going to get any worse, all the time. Now I just stay in the now as much as possible.

Early bed, not much to say tonight.

 

I am grateful for: being almost there; a walk in the fog; sleeping pills; the NHS; friends

 

Sleep tight xx

11:36 p.m. - 23.01.17

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