annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cancelled So they cancelled ED's operation today with less than two hours notice due to there no longer being a bed available. Fuck. You read about this - well, I read about this - all the time, how the NHS is being run down, being forced to close beds, wards, units, hospitals... I guess when she went in as an emergency, back in September, she pushed out someone on the list who was expecting to have an operation that day. I was expecting it to be cancelled, right up until yesterday, when I thought we must have made it through, but no, we hadn't. ED was really anxious about the op, which paradoxically is good news as it means she's holding things in her short term memory again, in a way she hadn't done for such a long time. Yesterday her face was just pinched, with a down-turned mouth and not a hint of a smile for anyone or anything. So hard, especially leaving her. Though staying with her was hard as well. I try (sometimes) to fix in my head that she's a 38 year old woman, but it doesn't compute at all. Cognitive dissonance (a phrase that always makes me think of manfromvenus). So that's me. Still plodding on but mega-knackered.
I am grateful for: a roof over my head - seriously, there are so many people sleeping on the streets and no one who cares has the power to do anything about it and those who do have the power don't give a fuck; daughters and a son to love; a bed; friends; the cat being asleep at last, fucker.
Sleep tight, back soon in more cheerful mode, I hope. I am making progress on the Christmas cards - you did realise they'd be homemade, I hope. Well, tough, you're still getting one, too late to back out now - I know where you live, hahahaha... 12:21 a.m. - 06.12.16 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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