annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary
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Rainy as fuck
Today feels like it should be a day of mourning or something. The death of decency, of education, of love. Trump, for fuck's sake. Like no lessons have ever been learned. Like there haven't been quizzes all over the internet for months asking, "Trump or Hitler? Who said it?" with quotes indistinguishable from each other. Scary stuff but nothing to be done.
I got really angry this morning after reading something about Obama that carried on as if he was almost a fucking saint, and I posted this on Facebook:
"On the plus side (barrel-scraping obvs) at least we all know what we're getting now. Obama is the most beautiful, gracious, intelligent politician I ever remember but under his watch American forces have bombed hospitals not once but twice and the drones, the fucking drones, killing civilians across Pakistan and all around - if America was on the receiving end of these drones the perpetrator would be denounced as pure evil and not warranting a trial, just summary execution and dumping in the sea. But this is Obama and he's so cool , a president to be proud of....
I'm not saying I'm not terrified but I do think there might be more honesty now about the horrors inflicted on the world in america's name"
which I feel a bit regretful about as it wasn't the time, when all my American pals are good people already in shock about all this and here's Ms Brit getting all snitty, from the land of Tony Blair and David fucking Cameron and we haven't even seen what bloody May will do once she gets going, but she's no warm-hearted fluffy bunny, whatever else she is.
So I stayed in bed till 2 o'clock, then went for my walk - I couldn't manage to not go, and as I left the car it started to thrash down with perishing cold icy rain, but I couldn't let myself turn round, as if not walking today would lead to not walking ever again, so I plodded on and then look what appeared:
I just kept on going and eventually the rain stopped and the sky went all melodramatic
and that's all I've got for now as I'm aiming to get more sleep so I'm going to bed.
I didn't visit ED today and it feels terrible. But sometimes I can't. Leaving her, walking out of there and leaving her lying propped up in bed kills me. And her aunt (her father's sister) called me and said she wanted to go so I knew she wasn't spending the day alone. But still. I hurt from it.
I am grateful for: having a roof over my head; a quiet cat; a beach nearby; a camera to catch a rainbow; no more foot pain and I hadn't even noticed.
Sleep well, dear friends, and hold steady. This too will pass.
12:23 a.m. - 10.11.16
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