annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Just a picture - the pier, wet, cold, empty. Walking the 6000 steps today was the hardest it's been, plod plod plod, but I had to do it. It feels as if I am held together by rituals these days. I cannot let any of them go for fear of utter collapse - my whole world collapsing in. People tell me I'm strong and I'm doing great, but they can't see how tightly I have to hold onto my sanity. I've never been a person of habits, but they seem to be piling up. I must meditate for at least ten minutes. I must walk 6000 steps. I have to eat eggs for breakfast and drink the turmeric tea. I have to take and post a photo during the walk and the photo-a-day. I must visit ED. Those are all daily. Weekly there are two yoga sessions, two different art groups (though to be fair, only the Friday one feels compulsory), acupuncture and therapy. Plus at least one social activity, since one of the psychiatric workers kept harping on about it being no good to stop seeing people. So I do, I make an effort and do usually enjoy it.  Fortnightly singing, three-weekly counselling. Yada yada.

Here's the pier:

 

img_4490

 

I am grateful for: a quiet cat; rain at last; the camera on my phone; getting the hang of wordpress; panna cotta. Comments. I am what apparently is known as a comment hound. Which sounds horrid.

 

Sweet dreams xx

1:19 a.m. - 05.11.16

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