annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This YESTERDAY: So the question was whether it is appropriate to insert a tube to feed my love, my baby girl, my sweet daughter. It's not that her throat won't swallow but that her brain isn't sending the signal telling her throat to swallow . This failing cognitive function will continue to get worse, probably quickly. Probably very quickly. If we start tube feeding we can't just stop. So do we want to insert the tube or "let nature run its course". Which will take "weeks, months perhaps". No no and no. Neither of those options. Written this on the phone. Going now.
Not good, but I'm not going to write about it till I know what I'm going to say, which will be on Monday I think. Today I went to the snide market down the road and bought myself a pair of fake Ugg boots for twenty quid. I sat in the van and wept and made phone calls out of Grandson's hearing. I made peace with MG in my hour of need and I'm glad I did. She's a pain in the fucking arse but so am I, and I can't do this without her. Then I came and fetched GS and we drove to the care home. ED smiled from ear to ear at the sound of my voice. I took her out into town and managed to get her to swallow a few mouthfuls of tropical fruit juice. On my way back here I bought some fish, potatoes, lemon, parsley and milk which I then made into a fish pie. Me, SIL and GS ate that and slumped in front of the telly, watching Strictly (Come Dancing - Dancing with the Stars in US) and X Factor. I wrote an email to the MS Nurse: "This is how it seems to SIL and me. We understand that ED's cognition is deteriorating and that there is a very real possibility that it will cease to function sooner rather than later. However, she's not there yet and there's also the possibility that she will stabilise for an unknowable amount of time. Over this weekend she has laughed a bit, smiled a lot, and told us that she is 'absolutely fine' (on the phone - she speaks to people on the phone). We know that there will be a difficult decision further down the line, but that will be when our ED has disappeared. She's still very much with us - she listens closely to conversations between us and makes appropriate facial responses. Not all the time, she fades in and out, but when she's present she's very present." I haven't sent it yet - I'll show it to him and the others tomorrow - they're all coming back tomorrow - and see what else needs saying. If you're of a praying nature, now would be a good time to do that for us, if you feel like it. Thanks. 12:35 a.m. - 12.10.14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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