annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hoist I'm going to post the link to donating for ED's wheelchair-accessible vehicle on every entry, at least until we've done the walk, because desperate times call for desperate measures and I know from the stats that there are regular but intermittent readers who only ever read one page per visit but may still like to help a person help her daughter have some kind of fucking life. Accepts all currencies, don't need to use the payingpalthing. After all the harrowing shit ED and SIL and the rest of us have been through, social services (or someone, ED is a most unreliable narrator these days, but social services is my best bet), turned up with a hoist that fits in the bedroom, so panic over, residential care drifts back off into the future and I don't know how any of us retain any kind of grip on reality when life keeps chucking shit like that around, then taking it back. Everything is only good or bad relative to something else. I got so fired up when the fund-raising took off like a rocket that I was carried away by the rhetoric and almost believed she'd get her normal life back, so when I realised that no, this would be a massive improvement, massive, but from a very low base line, I got all miserable again. Then, wham, she might have to go into residential care, for the rest of her life, institutionalised at the age of 35, but no again, she won't and somehow the original situation feels like a relief. Apart from that, today I walked to acupuncture, right across town and most of the way back - it was pissing down with rain and the allure of a bus pulling into a stop just as I arrived was too much to resist. Since when I have been mainly lying on the sofa, smoking grass and watching recent episodes of 'Who do you think you are', comforting myself with the tenacious survival of people's ancestors and the appallingly brutal lives they led. YD and I have both signed up for N3tflix's free trial month and are watching Breaking Bad again from the beginning, but I don't know if I'll be able to see it through. There was an anonymous donation of �20 today, which I found particularly thrilling. I love the thought of someone unknown out there, could be anyone, maybe not even connected via me so truly unknown, or perhaps someone in my life, whover, wishing us well, helping out, making a difference. When I do know who it's from, it feels like a good, long hug and altogether it feels like a safety net, being created one link at a time, stretching out to catch us now that we've fallen. Sweet dreams xxx 1:29 a.m. - 18.09.13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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