annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Who remembers SCUM?

Home again. We reached the end of the good we could generate between us, me and YD and the BF. It's a complicated situation given that all three of us are fighting off the flakiness to a greater or lesser extent, and the multiple relationships between the three of us - they're a couple, but she's my daughter and I'm his MIL and we're all hanging out in the basement not knowing what to suggest, being polite, mostly, but becoming exhausted and debilitated.

I'm very stoned, too stoned probably, or maybe not enough - it's not always easy to tell the difference. I must find a way to stop reading the comments on articles I read online. Tonight's error was a piece by Joan Smith about what she calls 'the great feminist revival' (which is stronging it a bit, though there are signs of life). I had some point I wanted to raise and scrolled down the page to see if anyone else had already brought it up and oh my fucking god. The main things that amaze me are firstly, that so many have forgotten that the movement for equality here (and everywhere else) arose out of a society in which women were legally secondary citizens - whatever you think of it now it hasn't always been about bloody selfish women leaving men begging for scraps at the table. (E.g. when my first husband physically forced himself on and into me, no crime was committed, this was not rape - a married woman was deemed to have consented to sex with her husband, on demand in perpetuity. Being no fule, I left the fucker double quick, but had no grounds for divorce.)

Secondly, there aren't, nor have there ever been any leaders of what's called the feminist movement. There is no manifesto, though there have been many in the past, all more disputed than agreed. There are just women all over the world, not putting up with, or protesting about, shit they have put on them predicated on someone else's idea of what a woman is or should be. These women are various - some are radical, some are filled with hatred, some wear lipstick, some are in your face, some are trans-gendered, some third world, many are complete toe-rags, many talk shite - none of them characterise feminism, but all are part of it. You can't send a memo or present a petition to get the use of fake tan (or whatever) by women who call themselves feminist banned - that's not how it works.

"I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute" Rebecca West said that in 1913 - plus ca change etc

I do think we need a new, more inclusive name to describe a belief in the equal worth, status and treatment of everyone (too bad humanism has been nabbed), but men are lagging behind - where's the popular deconstruction of masculinity that would expose what men could gain by just being people, not Men? Things are creeping along in the right direction - a lot of young men seem pretty chilled.

But enough of this.

Grateful for: a safe journey home through the wind and the rain; being home; being tired; online scrabble, keeping me in touch; milk and honey - just thought of that - off to make some

Sweet dreams xxx

12:18 a.m. - 15.05.13


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