annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary


Stoned ramblings and rantings

Awful day - teetering on the brink all day, both me and YD. Avoided it by the skin of our teeth, but achieved nothing else.

I've spent most of the day coming on and off-line, reading too much current events and getting even more disillusioned with the political state of the world and the misinformation upon which so much opinion is based.

So. I had my last ESA payment in April and my last DLA last week. I have applications in for the continuance of both but with no realistic expectation of a decision being made on either any time soon. If I didn't have a sister with money in the bank and love in her heart, my direct debits would start to bounce for gas, electric, internet, phone, water. Not rent - that's paid differently and goes into another account (rule one - pay the rent). The social fund, which used to tide people over in such situations has just been abolished so all I would be entitled to would be vouchers to buy food with. I think - it may vary locally and I haven't had to pursue it (lucky me), but I have heard tell of Asda (bought out by Walmart) vouchers that won't let you buy fags or booze or DVDs. This may seem normal to Americans but it is fucking shameful for Brits, shameful. It's the sort of careless disregard for the vulnerable in society that seemed to belong in the past, or to less 'civilised' countries, but no, it's right here, right now. Where will it end, though? We won't be burning our furniture to keep warm, as most of us don't have a fireplace and the furniture is made of shite that lets off poisonous fumes.

Which last sentence reminds me of another annoyance (it's not the last sentence any more - I mean the one ending in 'with', a preposition) - the government are enforcing a ridiculously prescriptive, reductive, ill-informed grammar test upon 10 year olds which is bad enough in itself, but fuck me it's brought a whole new load of nastiness out into the light. So many apparently rational people have an enormous knowledge of linguistics while completely ignoring the fact that use of language changes, slowly but inexorably, over time (always has, always will or we'd still be saying thee and thou), and they say vile things about people who break what they call grammatical rules, but which is really just common consent. Such contempt, such scorn, such an assumption of superiority.

And there was an article in the fucking Guardian about what "Dan Brown and other writers" do to cure writer's block. Obviously questionable (or deliberately provocative), from headline onwards, only naming Brown, but Jesus, the comments. For some people, loads in fact, the very idea of calling him a writer was a step too far and they had to write vitriolic little balls of spite to express their contempt for his characters, his plots, his style, whatever. I kind of know what they mean because Jeffrey Archer raises similar feelings in me, but whether we like it or not, they are writers - those best-selling books, that so many people read and love, don't write themselves. But how do so many people find it so hard to settle for 'I don't like it myself, actually' without having to add 'and you're a cunt if you do'?

It's been an dispiriting day for an old hippy. Why can't we just play nice?

Grateful for: a comfy bed; a valium to take now; a blog to ramble in; a book to read; a bit of cash in the bank.

Could be worse, could be much, much worse.

Sweet dreams xx

12:57 a.m. - 14.05.13


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