annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sweet home Alabama You missed the bit where I dragged myself out and forced myself to walk to the end of the pier and back, stopping for a plate of chicken wings, salad and rice at the kebab shop and came home feeling invigorated and a bit more chipper. Sorry but since then there's been the letter with the appointment for my medical assessment for purposes of ascertaining my eligibility for benefits. I have to do it but I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I can take myself into a situation where I am expected to talk face to face with a stranger about intimate, shameful details of how my mental health affects my ability to function, whilst knowing that it doesn't matter what I say - the interviewer's job is to remove 14% of claimants, they have to make hard choices too - the whole process dehumanises both of us - I don't know if I can do it. I mean I'll go, I can't imagine the consequences of not even turning up, but neither can I imagine how I will begin to contain the combination of the inevitable anxiety with the volcanic intensity of my RIGHTEOUS FURY. It's bad enough already - I may spontaneously combust, like Krook in Bleak House and render the whole thing unneecessary. Time will tell, I guess. And now the clocks have leapt forward almost in front of my eyes. Suddenly it's half past three - just like that. Tweet of the day; Daughter refusing to believe clock change. "You cant just change the time Mum . Its about the sun and planets and everything " This is the modern world. 3:11 a.m. - 31.03.13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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