annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I drove all night

Oh, I had such an email from my brother this afternoon, explaining why he won't be lending me any money, though offering me a gift of a smaller amount in such a way that I cannot (today) bear to accept it. I didn't expect him to lend it to me and tried to emphasise that I wouldn't take it personally if he wasn't able. But he's made it personal with a litany of charges, some fair, some outrageous. I remember him telling me years ago that he didn't believe in mental illness, but I'd assumed that being married to an ed psych and having a sister (me) who was a 'service user' (attended a pyschiatric hospital) for three years would have changed his thinking, but apparently not. I 'gave up' my job despite my responsibilities towards my children. Yeah, right, I walked away with a spring in my step and a song in my heart and have been laughing ever since.

I told him I was hurt about that when I replied, as well as saying no worries about the money and sorry for asking. There's a whole lot more that I'm not going to write about here in case my anger dissipates, but I shall get back to him on it later, smug fucker.

I'm too angry about him to be anxious about my financial future right now, but I expect my subconscious to deliver plan b anytime soon.

Still, on the plus side:
1. My dear friend MC, who was scared off by my wild lunacy of about ten years ago, has reached out the hand of friendship today. She is a joyous, wondrous person and I cannot tell you how thrilled I am at the prospect of seeing her on Saturday. There may have been a ten year gap but we had almost twenty years before that. I don't hold it against her for stepping back - I was pretty scary for quite a long while and I've had to step away from people myself sometimes. I think I'm manageable now, though clearly not everyone's cup of tea. Optimistic, me.
2. I am also back in touch with dear Desiree (who has lost forgotten her d'land p/w and bloody Andrew doesn't answer her emails)
3. YD is coming to stay for a few days
4. The cat, who has been yowling indignantly at me ever since I walked through the door, has finally shut the fuck up.

Laters xx

11:08 p.m. - 13.03.13

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next