annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunday morning Yesterday (Sat) was a medium day, I reckon. Hard, but with some good, if fleeting, moments. Allotment with the girls - S was worn down by a bad week at her bad school and wanted a bit of solitude, so she worked at the top of the plot on her own. M and I were cooking, M being in charge and fucking hell, she can be a pain. But we had a lovely meal, sitting in the sun. Heavy showers, one with big hail stones, kept passing through, but M sat in the tiny shed, S hid under the bushes and I had a big brolly so it was OK. Just hard having big waves of anxiety about ED sweep through me at intervals, wearing me down. Then home and collapsed into a heap of despair, unable to reach out for help. I did get a text from X, who has been on the psych ward all this time. He seems OK. Now I have to try and work out what kind of friendship I have it in me to offer him and whether he still wants it. Today hasn't started well, but I just had a long chat with YD who has become very wise and lovely. ED, we discover has not yet got her glasses as 'no one was available to take her to pick them up.' I am a bit mental about these glasses, about whether she will be able to see with them. I feel as if my life is on hold until we know, which is bonkers, but the truth. Bloke on his way now. He's on the edge too. This week his dad appeared to be breathing his last breaths for about four hours - pale face, shallow breaths, no response, doctors were gathered, there was a conversation about DNR, all that kind of stuff. Bloke went to get something to eat and when he got back his dad was sitting up in bed, trying to put his boots on, not believing any of this talk about being ill. The next day Bloke got a call saying his dad had been in a fight - had started a fight in fact, with another ancient, cantankerous, old fucker. Jesus. Back later for a verdict on today. Happy Sunday xx 12:22 p.m. - 14.10.12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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