annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Feeling groovy It's been a tense few days since I last wrote, waiting to hear from the landlord. I got this flat through a lettings agency who were very strict about tenants' financial standing. You could provide either an employer's reference, a guarantor, or six month's rent in advance, or you could fuck off. I managed the advance rent as a one off, by a wing and a prayer, but couldn't do it again. I have no job and cannot bear the thought of asking someone to stand as guarantor (the paperwork is intrusive and endless). My six months are up on June 10th. This has been massively stressful - the thought of having to move again (this time without a decent deposit or cash to pay for a removals firm) is so unbearable I have had to FORCE my mind away from it. All I could think to do was beg to stay, but every time I contemplated phoning the (very pleasant) landlord I became tearful and useless, until it all got so bad that I started talking to my doctor, therapist, acupuncturist about it and between us we came up with A Cunning Plan. I wrote to him, not begging or even asking to stay, but assuming he would want me to. I know, weird. In the end I couldn't even do that, so composed it as part of a session with R (basically: "I'd love to stay, please send bank details and I'll set up a monthly payment" but with a bit more charm), failed to write a neat copy until the day before the following session, and have been frozen stiff with terror ever since posting it. And hurrah, blessed be, hallelujah etc - today came a brief note with his bank details!! Oh man. I can stay here. This IS my home. I am a new woman. So tomorrow I'm going to give that garden a good sorting out. Bed now. Sweet dreams xx 12:31 a.m. - 13.05.12 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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