annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Twas a dark and stormy morning

Very slowly got the flat back in order today. Thought I'd be able to relax at the end but I couldn't, though I did lie on the sofa and watch TV all evening. Need to be more accepting of this, but not doing well. Despite the agitation there are Good Things, but I can't think of any right now. OK, try harder...
1. I can hear the sea from here, right now, even with the windows closed, dragging the shingle up and down the beach. Very soothing and comforting. During the day the seagulls swoop down between the buildings but only land in the taller trees. Their cries echo and expand in the hollow space, very pleasing.
2. I love how my home looks from outside as well as inside.
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Tuesday morning. The sound of the waves, I now realise was due to a massive storm which is still blowing, keeping me and my Bobcat indoors for the next few hours at least. I had planned on buying some kind of weatherproof coat, but this is not the day for going out without one. I do have a stupid number of coats and winter jackets but they're all either open at the neck, or with only a few buttons so the icy wind can sneak its fingers right inside and chill me to the bone. They all seemed fine before, but now I'm back in the full force of the sea winds all their inadequacies are apparent. Wool, too, which smells like wet dog and takes forever to dry.

One of the things I feel crushed by is having read most of my 2011 posts and realising that I got the year off to a great start, following advice of medics to rest, rest, rest and incorporating a lot of creativity into that time as well. I don't know why I feel depressed about it - all the energy I regained was available to see me through a tough summer of supporting my daughters during their (separate) serious health problems, which is surely a plus? Yet it leaves me disheartened for doing it all again. Can't see any alternative though, as I'm back to square one energy-wise.

OK, enough moaning for one post.

Laters x

1:00 a.m. - 03.01.12

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