annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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Another fine mess

Oy. Back on my sofa. Younger Daughter has been here with the new BF since Saturday lunchtime and they've been on the sofa of an evening. It's been good, easy. Can't believe I only met him last weekend and YD not that much before. He is frail, though so is she and they seem to be looking out for each other. I seem to have slept for most of the weekend.

Long term readers may remember the rapist step-grandson. We discovered yesterday that he'd been released on license last week. I read a good blog entry posted a few days ago by horvendile about the urge to punish the wicked. In theory, I believe in forgiveness, that people change, but I'm not stupid enough to think they all change for the better. I haven't seen SGS since before he did it so I don't have any sense of where his head's at and a large part of me doesn't want to know, doesn't care. But it fucks my head up.

I've just deleted a few paragraphs of analysing it from every angle. I'd hardly started, I could write about it forever and not be any the wiser but I've thought about it most of the evening.

So I can feel the anxiety rising and my new aim for the immediate future is to look after my self. Tomorrow J is coming round at 11, while her (as of Saturday) ex BF removes the last of his belongings from her house. Then art class at 1.30, about architecture, which means a timely reminder of perspective. I've been invited for coffee afterwards with K, but I may cancel him as I need to do a proper food shop and some washing. (I'm taking things out of the washing basket and wearing them again, clinging to my comfort clothes (long green skirt, Day of the Dead dress). It's not a good sign.) From here that seems a lot for one day, especially as I'm bound to check the letting agents sites, no matter what I say now.

Revised plan. Take all the washing down for a service wash at some point. Another day won't make any difference but having it bagged up will be a good start. Or not even worry about any of it tomorrow - just see J, go to art, have coffee with K if I feel like it at the time, buy a pie on the way home, and start again on Wednesday.

Grateful for: a plan; my little house; my health, which while not great is pretty good considering; my furry slippers; acupuncture

Sweet dreams xxx

8:48 p.m. - 07.11.11

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