annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary

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and don't it feel good

The last time I swam in the sea in October was on Oct 8th 1985. It was my first day at Uni. Son (11 mths) and Younger Daughter (17 mths) were in the creche on campus for the morning, Elder Daughter (7) was at First School in Smalltown where we lived. That first morning was a bit of a blur, but I remember picking up my grant cheque for 1500, which was a staggering amount of money to me - I'd never owned a whole grand before. And reading lists for my first two courses 'Critical Thinking' and 'The Biological and Social Bases of Sex Differences'. One of the happiest days of my life, being paid to get to the bottom of things that I'd wanted to know for years (I was 31). I went straight to the library and thrilled to the weight of knowledge in my bag

I was so fucking strong then. The creche closed for lunch (kept staffing costs down, made creche cheap for students), so I picked S and YD up at one, put them in their double buggy, made my way up and down hills to the campus cafeteria where we had lunch with another single mum and her son, then up and down more hills and a subway to the railway station, two trains (with just three minutes to get from one to the other), back to Smalltown, collect ED from school, over to Sis's place near the sea and down to the beach, quick while it was still warm. I have photos of son and his cousin standing naked on the wet sand, me all skinny in a bikini with dripping hair, and both my daughters splashing in the waves.

Yeah - I was thinking of that today as I floated about at that same beach - swimming in October off Britain is a gift, a blessing bestowed upon us by a merciful universe that can sometimes see when we need a bloody break. They reckon there'll be one more day of it and snow by the end of the month. Hah.

I made a proper dinner tonight, as per the plan - even did a supermarket shop without buying any pies or other crapola.

And made a list of key features of my new home. I started out with the essentials (ground floor, one bedroom), then added a few more that I'd like if possible, such as the bedroom being big, and the living room, and then I got carried away and put down everything I would choose for my dream home. Within reality, not fantasy. The living room will have a fireplace and patio doors which open onto a decent sized west facing garden. There will be a good sized entrance hall, also a kitchen with a bit more in the way of workspace and cupboards than I currently have, a gas hob and an electric oven, ideally a high level one with a separate grill, but that's getting very picky - the gas hob is what I care about. The bathroom has a proper shower and there's a separate toilet, nice and clean. This flat is dry and safe, on one of the roads that run off the sea front, where it's level, by the lawns - good swimming in summer and good walking all year round. Parking is at least as easy as here (I'm framing things positively and trying to keep it real), it's a long let, safe for my little Bobcat and with the possibility of my having a small dog as well.

Places exist exactly like that. I will be living in one soon. I hope and I pray.

Grateful for: having had good luck with housing in the past and hopefully the future; feeling better now I have a plan; having been to university under what now seems an idyllic regime; living by the sea; acupuncture tomorrow

Sleep well xxx

12:28 a.m. - 03.10.11

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