annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doctor, please, some more of these Well. I am a fool. It was only this morning, after a terrible day and an even worse night, that it occurred to me to google 'coming off zopiclone' (sleeping pills which I have been taking for about three years, initially to avoid the night time ruminations and terrors). To be withdrawn over a matter of MONTHS, not four days. Side effects of doing it too quickly? Same as for coming off benzodiazepines - a long list of physical and mental responses which add up to total meltdown. Ca, c'est moi. My doc has repeatedly said that unless I feel strongly that I want to stop taking them, I'm better carrying on until I've really stabilised and I can see that she was right. What a relief. I've had moments of despair and weepiness recently, but truly believed I had moved forward, out of the grip of depression and anxiety - anyone who had two children who wanted to end their lives would be having their moments, surely? And the moments only lasted for a short time, less than a couple of hours, until yesterday when it was like the clock turning back and nothing I could do made any difference. I was so frightened, because it was irrational. My girls are both in a much better place - I could understand a quick collapse as a result of relief, letting go of the tension, but not on and on and on. I still feel very shaky, achy and weepy, but I'm not terrified. This will pass, it's chemical. I'm not really up for coming off the pills now, but I don't have to. I just have to get through today and tonight, then see doc tomorrow and all will be well. Thank fuck for that. Laters x 1:43 p.m. - 2011-09-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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