annanotbob2's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- tl;dr Thurs 27th June, still Glasto reporting. Thursday evening, sat at a crossroads at the top of the pyramid field watching the sunset, writing in my notebook. The festival is full now, thousands of people, not all of them wasted, but really intense so I'm acclimatising myself to the crowd before we have crowd and music. I walked right through the middle earlier to get my dinner at my favourite stall - La Grande Bouffe - tartiflette and Toulouse sausages: really tasty but also pushing me to my limit to walk through the mass of people, quite a long way, then queue for probably 10 minutes, then sit and eat on a bench in the thick of the crowd. I felt panic rising again and again but I just breathed through it and remembered that I don't want to spend the rest of my life stuck in that house with Bloke - I want to LIVE. So here I am, living. We did the first workshop, me, and my pal R's grandson and his girlfriend, both in their early 20s, good kids, the pair of them. It was fucking hectic. Too many people in the marquee in blazing heat - I lost it quite badly for a bit - dizzy and whirly and not knowing what the fuck I was meant to be doing [see, I'm glad to have this written down - I would have forgotten this] with three kids in front of me, all at different stages of the process, one with a very vacant face who needed a lot of help, glue and sewing needles and paper all over the place and gusts of wind blowing it all around, unable to sit down as we're on the side of a hill and my chair tipped too far backwards. Sit sideways on, YD advised for tomorrow. Good advice. I didn't get a single photo as it was so hectic but maybe tomorrow. We did, here it is:
YD has taken all the little ones from our group, ages between 20 months and five years, off on adventures somewhere. She loves it and they love her - it beats sitting around watching the others get wasted. I can see bats - they flap their wings faster than birds. It's too hot for me - much too fucking hot. They're giving away free sunscreen but only a squirt at a time not a whole tube each. One of the good things about being old is not giving a toss. People walking past are looking at me, sat here in my chair, writing in my notebook but I don't care. Sunset hasn't amounted to much so back to camp I reckon. 9997 steps today so far - it's not really resting, is it? Friday morning I woke full of anxiety and sadness - I want to call the care home but can't halt the break in my voice... I did it anyway after writing that - she's up, in her chair in the lounge, sleeping while having her nails done. She's asleep so much of the time. Our camp is split - me and YD on the eastern side of the field, up against the trees and hedge which gives us morning shade. The others are on the west, morning sun, afternoon shade. Lisa's boy Oscar, 18, out all night, just crashed into the tent we have for Son and fell asleep before getting his feet into the tent: There's a samba band just started playing on the other side of the hedge, not 20 yards away but he hasn't stirred. Now I'm off to check out Bjorn Again, the Abba tribute band opening the festival proper on the main stage...
And that was as far as I got at the festival. When I got back I went to the care home but ED was fast asleep and there was no waking her so I jotted down some more notes. Back from Glasto Good things:
Not so good things:
Home again, in real time So that was Glasto. Since being back I've been totally knackered. I've had to deal with a load of shit about ED's funding, which I can't even go into. I finally saw her awake and took her for a little walk, but pushing the wheelchair was too much really so we only went to the coffee bar round the corner and sat outside for a while. I don't feel too bad now, late Sunday night, but I have been overwhelmed with sorrow about her life since coming home. And mine. Someone said MS didn't just steal her life, but mine as well and they were not wrong. 12:33 a.m. - 08.07.19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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